A Test of Faith
by honeyMellon
Summary: Shuuhei doesn't realize that he is making Renji feel neglected, and Renji is too proud to admit it. A series of disappointments, lonely nights, and miscommunication threatens to break their bond. Will their love persevere?
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, I'm going to be adventurous and try something new. Shakirie, this one is for you. :) **

**A few weeks ago, Shakirie sent me a request to write a ShuuRen story with a female OC. I've never written an OC before, so I do hope I won't disappoint you all.**

**Timeline-wise, this story is set after "_Pride_". **

* * *

**Chapter 1**

* * *

"It's true! I'm telling you he really is, like, huge!" A short, dark-haired shinigami said indignantly. The small tattoo above his left eyebrow creased as he frowned, annoyed that his audience did not believe him.

A bespectacled girl looked at him skeptically. "How can you be so sure?" she said cooly, "From what I heard, it was dark when you saw them."

Rikichi face-palmed in exasperation. Who did she think she was, to question him like this? Sure, he was not yet a seated officer in the 6th division, but he was still her _senpai_. She had just graduated from the academy, for god's sake.

"Fine. You don't believe me? See for yourself, then," he said finally. Like people always say, seeing is believing. Since she wasn't convinced, well, he had no choice but to show her. He felt a little uneasy, though. Much as he wanted to impress her by showing that he was close to their vice captain, he didn't really like the idea of exposing the vice captain's private life like this. But what was a man to do?

The girl, whose name was Sato Akari, raised her eyebrow at the suggestion. "Fine," she said immediately. The subtle arrogance in her voice sent a wave of irritation through the boy.

"I'll come get you when they start," Rikichi said despite his feeling of apprehension. He would show her that he was close to their vice captain, his hero, the reason he had that tattoo on his forehead. Seated or not, Rikichi was not just _any_ member of the 6th division. Why, he had even personally saved Abarai-fukutaicho once. His chest swelled as he recalled the gratitude and warmth on his vice captain's face as the man lay severely injured on the ground.

"Then I shall wait for you," Akari said. With that, she turned on her heels and left.

Rikichi stared at her back as the girl walked away. She was beautiful, he had to give her that; her jetblack hair tied back in a braid, her pale purple _obi_ added a feminine touch to the standard-issue _shihakusho_. She was petite but not in the way that made her seem fragile; her strides radiated self confidence and elegance. Rikichi sighed wistfully. Surely she would see nothing in such a plain boy like he.

* * *

"Another late night?" Kira asked as Renji sank to the seat next to him.

The redhead shrugged, his expression a little glum. He had arrived late, and alone, to the dinner gathering at the little izakaya restaurant in Seireitei. Kira, Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Matsumoto were already halfway through their food.

Kira sighed inwardly. He made a mental note to talk to Shuuhei the next time he sees the man. Shuuhei, his best friend, was a very good person; responsible, soft spoken, loyal, dependable, to name a few of his qualities. Unfortunately, all that came with side effects that were not so desirable. Because of his strong sense of duty, and the fact that he was the acting captain of the 9th division, he felt obligated to work extra hard. And that meant that he spends most of his waking hours working. That in itself was not a bad thing, but Kira could see that it was putting a strain on Renji.

It wasn't easy to see yourself being placed second in your loved one's life, but that was exactly what Renji had to live with sometimes. Kira knew that Renji was very proud of his hardworking, well-respected lover, but it also hurt him at the same time. Their relationship did not begin smoothly; Shuuhei had tried to deny his feelings for the redhead for the longest time. He had even blatantly lied to Renji, telling him that he only thought of him as a friend. It was not until Shuuhei felt the pain of nearly losing Renji that the shield that Shuuhei had formed between them finally shattered. The reason Shuuhei had gone through all that trouble in the first place was that he truly believed that he would die in the coming war against Aizen, and he didn't want to burden Renji with his love when it would not last. But ironically, now that they finally had each other, it seemed that Shuuhei had forgotten how precious time was to both of them.

Kira knew Shuuhei enough to know that his friend wasn't doing this on purpose. It wasn't as if he didn't cherish his relationship with Renji; the man just wanted to fulfill his duty as an officer of the Gotei 13. It was an unfortunate situation; Shuuhei not realizing that he was making Renji feel neglected, and Renji too proud to admit it.

* * *

Renji wished that Kira would stop looking at him with that sympathetic expression on his face. Sure, he wished that Shuuhei would join them for dinner too, but Kira's gaze made him feel like a clingy lover, and he hated it. He could almost _hear_ the man's thoughts: _Oh, poor lonely Renji, he misses his lover._

Truth be told, he did miss Shuuhei. They were very happy together; when they had time, that is.

He wished they could have more time together, so he treasured and was fiercely protective of every moment that they had. Their sex life was amazing—Shuuhei was a wonderful lover; creative, attentive, sensual—but Renji sometimes felt like something was missing. There was so much to share, so much to talk about, just not enough time. He made extra efforts to create opportunities for them to spend time together, such as taking Shuuhei to Karakura town and waiting up late at night so that they would have some time alone after Shuuhei finished work. He knew that it wasn't all one-sided; Shuuhei spent whatever free moment he had with Renji. The problem was, Shuuhei didn't _have_ many free moments. His dedication to the Gotei 13 made sure of that.

Renji sometimes grumbled about it in front of Shuuhei, but he knew it was something Shuuhei could not change. It would be like asking Renji not to risk his life to save his friends, or asking Ichigo to run from a battle. It was in their blood. Simple as that.

So he just accepted it.

* * *

**To be continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for reading! Do let me know how you're feeling about the story so far! ;)**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

* * *

"So?" Akari demanded, hands on her hip. She had waited for hours to hear from Rikichi, but he hadn't contacted her. So she simply went over to his quarters and banged on his door.

Rikichi looked sheepish. Scratching the back of his head, he said, "Looks like it's not happening tonight. Hisagi-fukutaicho is not here."

Akari snorted. "Or maybe you just made up the whole thing," she said in a challenging tone. She actually wasn't really here to see her vice captain, and she was not usually so confrontational; but if there was one thing she couldn't tolerate in the world, it was liars.

The truth was, she felt awed by Abarai-fukutaicho. When she first set eyes on that fiery red hair and those fierce tattoos as a new recruit in the division, she was intimidated by the large man. But in the past few months, she had begun to see him in a different light. He may be brash and rough, but he was gentle and surprisingly patient. She noticed the way his eyes shined with pride when new recruits improved under his guidance, and her respect and fondness for him grew.

So when she heard those increasingly ridiculous rumors about Abarai-fukutaicho, she was furious. What had started as a harmless piece of gossip grew into a joke, and the younger division members began to make fun of the vice captain. _Oh, you need a pole to reach the top shelf? Go borrow one from Abarai-fukutaicho! _

When she eventually traced the rumors back to Rikichi, she confronted him. The young officer was apologetic; he hadn't expected things to go so out of hand when he told a few of his close friends. Like Akari, he revered his vice captain. He had been so excited to have witnessed something so special about his idol that he couldn't help confiding in his friends. Obviously, he had misplaced his trust. But even as he regretted ever telling his friends, he stubbornly stuck to his story that he _did_ witness it. Words were not enough, and Akari challenged him to prove that he was telling the truth.

She was certain that he would try to worm his way out of this, and sure enough, he couldn't prove it tonight. He had sounded so confident that morning, and now he had nothing to show for it.

"Well, they don't do it every night!" Rikichi said defensively. Beautiful as she was, Rikichi disliked the condescending look in Akari's eyes. The way she looked at him made him feel small and useless. He felt looked down upon.

"How convenient," Akari said dryly.

The lights in Abarai-fukutaicho's room were out, she noticed. In fact, it looked like he wasn't at home. Perhaps he slept over at the 9th division sometimes?

"A-abarai-fukutaicho!"

Akari turned sharply at Rikichi's surprised voice. She immediately recognized the familiar red hair and the stark outlines of dark ink against tan skin.

"Hey Rikichi..." Abarai-fukutaicho returned the greeting. He looked troubled for a split second, then his face lit up with recognition and he added, "Hi, Akari."

Akari blushed. _He remembers my name!_ she thought in delight. Who would've known? There were so many members in the 6th division, she didn't expect someone as high-ranked as the vice captain to know everyone by name. But somehow Abarai-fukutaicho knew hers!

She suddenly realized that she was blocking the vice captain's door, and, with an embarrassed smile, she stepped aside. Abarai-fukutaicho gave her a nod and proceeded to fumble with his keys to get inside. It took him a few tries to finally unlock the door, and as he did so, Akari caught a faint whiff of alcohol.

She was surprised. It was a weekday, and it was almost midnight. For someone who had to wake up early the next day to lead a training exercise, this was unexpected. She searched her vice captain's face. No, he wasn't drunk, not even close. But his eyes looked tired. He smiled, but his smile did not reach his eyes. Akari was good at reading people. Abarai-fukutaicho was troubled, but she had no idea why.

Suddenly feeling guilty, she decided to leave. Seeing her vice captain in a sombre mood had killed her intention to pry into his private affairs, at least for tonight. Shooting a glare at Rikichi, she turned around and left hurriedly.

Rikichi stared after the girl. _What a pain in the ass_, he thought unhappily. But he liked her. Her haughtiness was annoying, but it also intrigued him.

"Goodnight, Rikichi."

Rikichi looked up in surprise at his vice captain's voice. Abarai-fukutaicho was looking at him with a hint of amusement. The man didn't comment on it, but Rikichi felt himself blush. He knew his _senpai_ must have caught the way he had looked at Akari.

"Goodnight, Abarai-fukutaicho," the young man said with an awkward grin. Then the door opened, and Abarai-fukutaicho disappeared into his room. Rikichi continued to stare at the door for a moment. He sighed. It sucked to be put down like this by Akari, but he also sensed that something was off tonight. Rikichi wasn't good at spiritual pressure manipulation yet, but he could tell that his vice captain's spiritual pressure seemed a bit weaker tonight. Well, perhaps weak was not the best description. _Dreary_, Rikichi decided, a little lifeless. After a few more seconds, he, too, disappeared into his own quarters.

* * *

Renji undressed numbly, dumping his robes on the floor then kicking them aside to clear a path to the bathroom. He had been looking forward to tonight for a whole week. Shuuhei had promised that he would join the guys for dinner, then spend the night at Renji's. They haven't seen each other for a while—what was it, three weeks?—and this was supposed to be a special night for them. It was Renji's birthday.

Renji wasn't big on celebrating birthdays. When one lives for as long as _shinigamis_, birthdays really didn't hold much meaning. He never cared for it until he knew Ichigo and all the others at Karakura town. Birthdays were apparently an important event in the world of the living; your friends give you presents, bring you a cake and sing songs, and you get to live like a king on that day. It wasn't the material things that appealed to Renji. When Ichigo celebrated his birthday, Renji could see the happiness and sense of belonging in the boy's eyes as he was surrounded by friends and family.

He had felt a little jealous when he saw that. For an orphan like him who grew up in Rukongai, family was a foreign concept. True, he had Rukia and the three friends with whom they grew up, but he never really felt like he belonged anywhere or to anyone. Since he became a _shinigami_, Gotei 13 was the closest thing to home that he knew. Even Rukia had a family; even though Kuchiki-taicho had rather unconventional ways of showing his brotherly love, Renji knew that his captain loved Rukia with all his heart. Over the years, Renji had come to accept that he would never have the chance to feel like this—to be loved and accepted so unconditionally.

Then, he found it in Shuuhei.

He remembered how silly he had felt when he first told Shuuhei about celebrating their birthdays, which happened to be only two weeks apart. He would kill himself before introducing this...social tradition...to Ikkaku and the rest, plus, he felt that it could be something special that was shared just between the two of them. Shuuhei had been surprised and amused, but seemed fond of the idea. So they agreed, weeks ago, that they would celebrate both their birthdays together, and they would celebrate it on Renji's birthday.

_Sure_, Renji thought, feeling both a little bitter and embarrassed. Shuuhei had probably regarded it as a frivolous matter and never took it seriously. And here he was, all excited about it like a child. His face burned as he chided himself for being so silly. What with the war and constant work, he shouldn't have even thought of something like this. What did he think he was, a simple, carefree human? He had even gotten a gift for Shuuhei; a custom-made guitar pick in the shade of blue like the tattoo on Shuuhei's face and a tiny jagged pattern on it like Renji's tattoos.

Oh well, he thought. Shuuhei was probably right to not waste time on something insignificant like this, and he really shouldn't, either. They had more important things to do, like training for the war. He should be thinking of matters of life and death, not something small like _celebrating birthdays._ The more Renji thought about it, the angrier he felt at himself. But still, he couldn't shake off the feeling of disappointment.

With a sigh, he quickly cleaned himself and resigned himself to a night alone.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**NOTES:  
If you're wondering "why a guitar pick?", this is based on a reference about Shuuhei in Kubo's "Mask" Bleach character book. It is said that Shuuhei was so intrigued by guitars that he actually bought one and took lessons from Chad.**

**And for anyone who's new to my stories, I highly recommend reading "_Till Death Do Us Part_" and "_Pride_" as they provide more background on how Shuuhei and Renji first got together. References to what Rikichi "witnessed" is explained in "_Noisy Neighbor_".**


	3. Chapter 3

**And here's the next chapter! Reviews, comments, questions, all are welcome!**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

* * *

"He's going to be okay now, don't worry, Hisagi-fukutaicho," the young 4th division medic reassured the frantic-looking man in front of her.

Shuuhei's face was still pale with worry, and he didn't bother wiping away the trickle of blood-laced sweat that was slowly making its way down the side of his face. The vice captain's spiky short hair was unusually messy and, in some parts, matted with blood. The back of his _shihakusho _was torn in several places, revealing scratched and bruised skin.

The training exercise should have been easy. He was to take a small group of ten new recruits from his division to the forest just outside of Seireitei for a mock battle. He had split the recruits into two teams, assigning one as the "enemy", and each team was supposed to form a strategy in order to defeat the other team. That part had gone on smoothly enough, but halfway through the fight, a tree at the clearing where they were training suddenly collapsed. Shuuhei had just a split second to react. He managed to flash-step over to the team members who were directly in the path of danger and carried three of them to safety. But three people were a lot for him to carry, and one of the recruits slipped out of his hands. Blindly pushing the other two away from him, he lunged back to grab the one who fell. Not having enough time to pull the young man completely out of harm's way, he had simply thrown himself on top of the boy and taken the impact.

The boy was unconscious when Shuuhei finally extracted him from the debris. There was a gash on his head, and some scratches on his face, but he seemed fine otherwise. Shuuhei immediately dismissed the exercise and rushed the boy to the 4th division.

"You should get your injuries tended to," a soft, motherly voice rang from behind Shuuhei, causing him to turn around in surprise. Unohana-taicho did not give him time to protest and simply led him off to another room to be treated.

When Shuuhei finally emerged from the infirmary, he had fresh bandages around his head, hand, and chest. He felt foolish with all these bandages as he felt that his injuries were minor, but he didn't dare question the 4th division captain. He was too tired to complain anyway. It was almost midnight, he was exhausted, and the dull throbbing in his head reminded him that he had a slight concussion.

For once he didn't bother showering before going to bed; he was already asleep by the time his head hit the pillow.

* * *

"Woah! What happened to you?" Kira's eyes went wide when he took in the sight of his best friend the next day. He had swung by the 9th division to hand in his report for the monthly Seireitei magazine, and was shocked to see the bandages on Shuuhei.

Shuuhei gave a slight winced as he smiled. "It's no big deal," he said, giving the report a quick glance. It looked okay, so he happily put it on top of a small pile of similar reports from other divisions.

"Does Abarai-san know about this?" Kira asked, narrowing his eyes. He knew that his best friend had the bad habit of playing down his illness or injuries, which he did out of good intentions, but often had the complete opposite effect on people.

"I don't want him to worry," Shuuhei replied, just as Kira had expected. As he said so, he felt something tug at the back of his mind. Renji...Renji...there was something about Renji that he was supposed to do. What was it? His brow furrowed as he tried to remember, but for the life of him he just couldn't recall.

"Are you in pain?" Kira asked in concern when he saw Shuuhei's expression.

Shuuhei shook his head and smiled sheepishly. "No, no," he said, "Just...was trying to remember something."

Kira looked at the dark-haired vice captain. He pondered for a while, then decided that now was as good a time as any to bring up the topic he had been wanting to mention to Shuuhei.

"When was the last time you saw Abarai-san?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

Shuuhei looked up in surprise. "Two days ago, at the vice captains' meeting. Why?"

Kira sighed. "I didn't mean _that_ kind of _see_."

"Oh." Shuuhei felt a little guilty as he answered, "About three weeks ago. We haven't really had time to, you know, hang out or anything. You know how crazy things are around here."

"Well, he seemed...a little down during dinner last night," Kira said, treading carefully. He didn't want to sound like he was preaching; in fact he didn't like to interfere in other people's business, but from past experience he knew that Shuuhei needed a little probing when it came to such matters.

Shuuhei felt another pang of guilt. Once again the feeling that he was forgetting something crossed his mind. "Did he say why?" he asked, temporarily shoving the odd feeling aside.

Kira shrugged. "I didn't want to pry." _You should know better than anyone else._

Shuuhei sighed. He could guess what was bothering Renji, and he felt really bad about it because it was his fault. The redhead had been grumbling about not having enough time to see each other, but Shuuhei hadn't done anything to change that. He knew he should, but he just hadn't found the time or heart to act on it. In fact, he had already listed out things that he could delegate to his 3rd seat, but he was finding it hard to part with those responsibilities.

Since Tousen-taicho left, Shuuhei felt the need to make up for the actions of their traitorous captain. As the vice captain, he blamed himself for not noticing the signs, for not stopping Tousen in time. And for that, he punished himself by taking on as much work as he could, almost like an act of apology to the members of his division.

"You need to take a break sometimes," Kira said gently. "I understand how you feel, but you need to stop blaming yourself."

Shuuhei opened his mouth to retort, then realized that Kira was right. Of course Kira would understand, he was as much a victim of the whole incident as Shuuhei was. "Yeah," he said, his shoulders sagging. Then he perked up. "Well, I can take a break tonight, since your report was the last one to arrive," he said with a mock glare at his blonde friend, who blushed at the jab.

"Well, you did say it's due at the end of the month," Kira mumbled.

Shuuhei chuckled. Some people just had to wait until the last day..._wait_, he suddenly paused. _End of the month_.

"What's the matter?" Kira asked, noticing Shuuhei's odd expression.

"Today is...the last day of..." Shuuhei said slowly, as if he wasn't sure of what he was trying to say.

Kira frowned in confusion. "Yes, today's the last day of August. Why?"

A sudden bolt of realization lanced through Shuuhei's mind. _Of course!_ August 31st! _Renji's birthday!_ At the thought, he jumped out of his seat so abruptly that he knocked over his chair in the process. Kira backed away from the desk in surprise.

"Wha—" Kira didn't get the chance to finish his sentence as Shuuhei pushed past him and rushed out of his office without bothering to respond. Kira was left standing there alone, dazed and puzzled.

* * *

"I'm sorry, but Abarai-fukutaicho just left a few minutes ago," Kuchiki Byakuya said cooly while eyeing the slightly disheveled vice captain in front of him. His face showed no indication that he thought that Shuuhei's appearance was out of the ordinary.

Shuuhei's heart thumped erratically in his chest from the sudden exertion of flash-stepping from his division to the 6th. "I see," he said, feeling disappointed and guilty. "Thank you, Kuchiki-taicho."

Byakuya raised an eyebrow. After a brief moment of silence, he asked, much to Shuuhei's surprise, "Is there a message you'd like me to pass to him, Hisagi-fukutaicho?"

For a moment Shuuhei was taken aback by the unexpected question, then he recovered and replied, "Yes please. Please...umm, please tell him that I'm looking for him."

The captain looked at him and nodded. "I will."

An awkward silence followed. Byakuya continued to gaze at Shuuhei with a serene expression, and Shuuhei wondered what was going on in the man's mind. He had always wondered, and always will, what Byakuya thinks when the captain sees him. Byakuya had said that he never had any intention to pursue his feelings for Renji, but Shuuhei felt that it must be odd for Byakuya to face the person who was _with_ the redhead, especially when that person knew what Byakuya felt for Renji.

Not having anything else to say, Shuuhei gave a deep bow and left. His heart felt heavy and, to be frank, he felt a little frantic. _How could he have forgotten Renji's birthday!_ He had promised Renji that they would celebrate their birthdays yesterday, and it had completely slipped his mind. Granted, he was distracted by the accident from the training session, but he couldn't deny that he had actually completely forgotten about it.

He wasn't afraid that Renji would be angry at him. Knowing the man, he was more likely to be disappointed and hurt than feel angry. The redhead may look like a bad-tempered person with his crimson mane and wild tattoos, but the truth is, he was only fierce towards enemies. With friends, he was an easygoing, cheerful man. He may get a little impatient and tactless sometimes, but he rarely loses his temper with people he's close with.

And it was exactly that knowledge that made Shuuhei's heart heavy. He remembered how excited and—surprisingly, shy—Renji had looked when he first brought up the idea of celebrating their birthdays together. The redhead looked like he would melt in embarrassment at the first sign of laughter from Shuuhei, which Shuuhei found extremely endearing. Birthdays didn't mean much to Shuuhei personally, but he was touched that Renji wanted to share this with him. He could remember, clear as day, how Renji's face had lit up when he promised to celebrate it on Renji's birthday. Shuuhei's heart tightened in his chest at the memory. He pictured that same face and imagined what it had looked like last night, when Renji figured out that Shuuhei wasn't going to show up.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**NOTE:  
If you haven't already, check out my other story, "_Pride_", if you're interested in what happened between Byakuya and Renji.**


	4. Chapter 4

**_From last chapter:_  
**_He pictured that same face and imagined what it had looked like last night, when Renji figured out that Shuuhei wasn't going to show up._

* * *

**Chapter 4**

* * *

Renji went about his day as usual. When he woke up that morning, he promised himself that he would not dwell on his disappointment, and so far he seemed to have succeeded in not thinking about it.

The day's schedule was mostly training new members of the division in _Zanjutsu_ techniques. This was one of the favorite things on his list of duties as the vice captain. He loved seeing the enthusiasm and fire in the young people; they reminded him of himself many decades ago. Where they lacked skills, they made up for it with the eagerness to learn.

"Eyes _on_ the enemy, Kazu," Renji reminded the boy in front of him, who seemed distracted by someone else's sparring partner. "On _your_ enemy."

The boy grinned sheepishly and corrected himself. He tightened his grip on his _bokken_ and then, with a yell, lunged forward to cross swords with his sparring partner. The partner was taken aback by the sudden movement; staggering backwards, the girl dropped her own _bokken_.

"Sorry!" Kazu gasped in alarm and rushed forward. The girl waved him off and bent down to pick up hertraining weapon, then immediately resumed a fighting stance.

Renji nodded in approval. That was how it should be done. The enemy would not wait for you to recover in an actual battle, so training should not halt because of a minor stumble like this. He crossed his arms in front his chest and decided to watch the two members spar.

The girl was extremely agile. She was short and small, but she made up for her lack of strength with speed and accuracy. More than once, she forced Kazu to abandon his posture with her skillful use of _katsugi waza_. She made Kazu's attacks appear clumsy by darting out of the way easily and immediately returning counter attacks. Renji noted that she made several attempts at applying _suriage waza_ but couldn't quite execute the complete upward motion under the weight of Kazu's _bokken_.

She has promise, Renji decided, feeling pleased. He paused for a moment to recall her name. Right, she was that girl who was with Rikichi last night. _Heh, good luck, Rikichi_, he thought, chuckling to himself.

Still smiling, Renji turned away to observe other pairs, but was immediately interrupted by a yelp of pain. Turning back immediately, he saw the girl on her knees, cradling her right hand.

"Akari! I'm so sorry! Are you alright?" Kazu, who had gone to her side, sounded so distraught that one would've thought that he had chopped her arm off entirely. Others also began to flock towards her.

Akari held back her tears and offered a small smile to reassure her friend. "I'm okay, it just stings a little."

"Let me look at that." At the voice of their vice captain, the young members stepped aside to clear the path. Renji knelt down in front of Akari and took her right hand. Yep, typical wrist strike injury, he thought. Akari hissed softly when Renji gently pressed on her wrist to gauge the level of injury.

"Come on, let's get you to the 4th division," Renji said. He held the girl's elbow to support her as she stood up, her steps a little wobbly from pain. "The rest of you, take a break for now and try not to get into trouble before I come back."

* * *

The healer finished the final touch on the wrist-guard around Akari's right hand, then sat back to let her test it out. The 4th division had temporarily halted the use of their medic's healing powers to treat minor injuries like this, preferring to save them for the more serious cases that were bound to increase as people prepared for the upcoming war. Akari winced when pain flared through her wrist even with the tiniest movement, but she bit her lower lip to refrain from crying out. _This is nothing_, she reminded herself, feeling angry that she had such low pain tolerance.

Renji looked at the girl's expression and could tell that she was in pain, but was obviously trying to put up a brave front. He grinned; he liked this kind of fighters, and he knew that she would not appreciate being talked to like a patient. So instead of asking her if she was alright, he clapped a hand on her shoulder and said cheerfully, "See? Good as new!"

Akari smiled, her cheeks slightly pink. "Thanks, Abarai-fukutaicho."

Renji thanked the healer and left the infirmary with Akari.

"You're really good, you know," Renji said as the two of them walked towards the 6th division barracks. "You just need more practice, and some strength training."

Akari looked up in surprise. She hadn't even realized that her vice captain had noticed her during the training session. When she was focused on something, she had the bad habit of tuning out everything else around her—which she knew could potentially get her killed in an actual battle—so she didn't even notice where Renji was while she was training.

"T-thank you," she said, blushing. Her heart soared at the compliment—from the _vice captain!_ The injury was well worth it, she thought happily.

Renji watched her with amusement. Despite her brave front, she had a girly quality about her that reminded him of Inoue Orihime. Well, scratch that, he thought, recalling Orihime's air-headedness. He scratched the back of his head as he thought of who else he could compare her to, but after a few moments decided that he really didn't know enough girls to make a fair comparison.

"So when did you graduate from the academy?" Renji asked, wanting to distract Akari from the pain that was surely bothering her.

Akari beamed proudly as she replied, "3 months ago, Abarai-fukutaicho."

Renji's eyebrows shot up in surprise. With her _Zanjutsu_ skills, he would've pegged her as a more senior member of the squad. "I'm impressed!" he said with a smile. "Where'd you learn _Zanjutsu_?" While students do learn it in the academy, there were so many things to learn at once that it was seldom to see a fresh graduate who actually excelled at it, unless they had taken extra lessons or already possessed the skill.

To Renji's surprise, Akari's smile faltered when she heard the question. _Oops_. Just as he was going to tell her to forget his question, Akari said in a small voice, "From my brother."

Now that Renji knew it was a sensitive topic, he wasn't sure what to do next. Should he continue asking about this brother of hers? Or should he just shut up and pretend that she hadn't replied?

Akari saved him from his inner struggle. "My elder brother taught me when I was younger, but...but my father did not like it," she said, her voice soft and laced with a hint of sadness. "You see, nii-san had wanted to join the Gotei 13."

Renji cringed at the use of past-tense in her sentence, but, sensing that she wanted to talk about it, he decided to probe gently. "I bet he must be really good at it," he said.

"Good?" Akari eyes widened indignantly. "He was the best! He won every competition he entered!"

Renji laughed at her reaction; the girl obviously idolized her brother.

Akari paused after her sudden outburst, then her smile faded again as she added, "But that was...that was before he f-fell ill..." Her eyes began to redden, and she blinked furiously to stop the tears. Her voice went even softer. "He passed away when I was twelve. My father never got over his death."

Not trusting his own eloquence, Renji decided to just keep quiet and let her continue.

"He blames the Gotei 13 for my brother's death...my father," Akari said sadly. "If nii-san hadn't pushed himself so hard, he wouldn't have died. At least, that's what my father believes. When nii-san began to fall ill, he would still watch me practice. But my father would get so angry..."

Akari stopped, suddenly realizing that she had been babbling on about herself since they left the infirmary. She blushed fiercely in embarrassment and said quickly, "I-I'm so sorry, Abarai-fukutaicho! You must be bored."

"No! Not at all," Renji said sincerely. "I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me all this."

Akari's cheeks reddened even more. She was actually surprised at herself for pouring her heart out to her vice captain. Not many people knew about her family problems, and she couldn't believe she was now telling Abarai-fukutaicho about them. She searched Renji's face for any signs of pretense, but found only genuine interest and concern in his eyes.

"Thank you for listening to me," Akari said, still feeling embarrassed.

Laughing, Renji said, "Stop thanking me, you've thanked me at least three times in the past hour." Then, realizing that he only made the girl even more embarrassed, he ruffled her hair good-naturedly and said, "Seriously, you can talk to me anytime. Now, shall we go in? I think one hour is a long enough break for those brats."

Beaming, Akari nodded and followed her vice captain into the 6th division grounds. Her wrist throbbed, but her heart felt lighter than it had ever been since she entered the academy against her father's will.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**_Sneak Preview of the next chapter:  
_**"Yeah, why go back?" Shuuhei whispered huskily in Renji's ear. "Why...when I can have you here?"

**NOTE:  
As noted throughout the Bleach manga/anime, there are 4 main skill sets for Shinigami: _Zanjutsu, Hakuda, Hoho, _and_ Kido.  
__Zanjutsu _is literally "Art of the Sword" in the Bleach universe, which basically is Kendo in the modern world.  
****Naturally, I don't know _Zanjutsu, nor kendo, myself, _so I wrote based on what I read up on basic _kendo_ techniques. Forgive me if they're not entirely accurate!**

**Reviews make me happy! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for your patience! Be warned, lemon ahead!**

**_From last chapter:  
_**_When he woke up that morning, he promised himself that he would not dwell on his disappointment, and so far he seemed to have succeeded in not thinking about it._**_  
_**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

* * *

With a loud sigh, Renji sank his tired body into the office chair. The stiff chair didn't provide much comfort, though, and Renji wished that he could simply throw himself onto his own bed instead. He rubbed the back of his neck to soothe his tight muscles.

It wasn't easy to get a group of chatty kids to continue their training session after a long break, so by the time Renji got back to his office, it was already after official office hours. Surprisingly, Kuchiki-taicho wasn't in the office when he arrived. All Renji found was an elegantly written note on his desk.

"_Hisagi-fukutaicho was here to see you."_

The emotions that Renji had been holding off for the entire day came crashing down on him at the sight of the name. His first reaction was to feel the sting of yesterday's disappointment, then his heart soared. Shuuhei must have realized that he'd forgotten about yesterday, and was probably here to apologize. The corners of his mouth curved up in a wicked smile as he imagined the look on Shuuhei's face. Knowing Shuuhei, he had probably been frantic.

It was then that Renji felt a familiar presence at the doorway. Shuuhei was standing outside the office, his body half-blocked by the door frame. The man was just standing there, unmoving, as if he was building up the courage to step into the office.

"I know you're there, Shuuhei," Renji said in a flat tone. He decided that he would scare Shuhuei a little...pretend to be angry, just to get back at him.

He heard shuffling of feet, then the 9th division vice captain finally walked in.

"What the hell!" At the sight of the bandages on Shuuhei, Renji completely forgot about his plan to scare Shuuhei. He jumped up in alarm and was at the man's side in a flash. "What happened to you?"

Shuuhei smiled sheepishly. "It's no big deal, really. We had an accident during an outdoor training session yesterday, a tree fell on me."

Renji blinked, incredulous. "A _tree_ fell on you?" He reached out a hand to touch Shuuhei's head gingerly, then he traced his fingers along Shuuhei's bandaged arm and back. "That's crazy. Thank god you're alright!" he said, still worried.

Relieved that Renji didn't seem to be mad at him, Shuuhei took hold of Renji's roaming fingers and looked straight into the redhead's eyes. "I'm really sorry," he said, hoping that his eyes could convey how deeply sorry and guilty he was feeling.

"Don't be..." Renji said, his feeling of disappointment at Shuuhei replaced by a rush of relief and concern. In fact, he even felt a little guilty. How could he have blamed the man when he didn't even know that Shuuhei was hurt? He felt bad...while he was lying in bed feeling all sad and sorry for himself, Shuuhei was injured and in pain. Although he couldn't have known, but he still felt like a selfish bastard.

"Come on, sit down," Renji said, ushering Shuuhei to his chair. "Are you sure you should be walking around with these injuries?"

Shuuhei grinned. "No, I escaped from the infirmary." Then, when Renji's eyes narrowed, he hastily added, "I'm just kidding! I'm fine, really. I'm just...I'm so, so sorry. You must've been so disappointed yesterday."

Feeling foolish for having an injured man repeatedly apologizing to him, Renji knelt down next to Shuuhei and held his arms in a firm grip. "Stop apologizing, I'm just glad that you're alright. Don't worry about yesterday, it's just some stupid thing anyway."

Now it was Shuuhei's turn to raise his eyebrows in surprise. "Really? Well then, I guess I can keep the present that I got for you..."

"You got me a present?" Renji asked, genuinely touched. He hadn't expected Shuuhei to get him anything. And to think...he had thought that Shuuhei hadn't taken him seriously! _I'm an asshole_, Renji thought. He thought of how Shuuhei always thought the best of everyone, and he felt bad for not giving the man the benefit of the doubt.

Shuuhei chuckled nervously while he fumbled around in his pockets. "Well, umm, it's nothing expensive or fancy..." he said, looking kind of embarrassed.

He wasn't given the opportunity to finished his sentence. His eyes widened in surprise as he felt a pair of warm lips on his own, cutting off his words. Then, smiling into the kiss, he closed his eyes and relaxed into Renji's arms.

Renji carefully avoided Shuuhei's injured arm and back areas while he held the man close. The feelings of relief, guilt, and happiness that mingled in his mind merged together, and all he wanted to do now was to show Shuuhei how much he wanted to make things right again.

He expected Shuuhei to push him away eventually, because Shuuhei had a strict policy about not doing anything intimate at work. But to his surprise, the raven-haired vice captain pressed himself against Renji and returned the kiss; Shuuhei parted his lips and coaxed Renji's tongue into his mouth, then gently sucked on it, sending a shudder of delight through the redhead's body.

After a few more seconds, they finally broke the kiss, both panting and feeling the need for each other. Three weeks of pent-up desire was beginning to crack and threatened to overwhelm them right then and there, in the 6th squad office.

"We should...go back to my place," Renji said hoarsely as he fought the urge to just pin his lover on the ground and take him there.

Shuuhei looked at him through half-lidded eyes. "Why?"

"Why?" Renji echoed. "What do you mean why—oomph!"

Renji fell onto his back on the floor with Shuuhei on top of him; he had never been kissed with such passion before, not even when they kissed for the first time. Shuuhei's urgency stirred up all the suppressed lust in him, and he let loose a long, needy moan. Normally, he would've died of shame from sounding so needy, but right now he could care less. All he wanted was Shuuhei; hard, rough, and _now_.

"Yeah, why go back?" Shuuhei whispered huskily in Renji's ear. "Why...when I can have you here?"

Renji's eyes widened at those words, then his face broke into a wide, naughty grin. Looks like he wasn't the only the one all riled up. He gasped out loud when a strong hand suddenly wrapped around his manhood.

"See?" Shuuhei said with a wicked grin. "You can't wait either." Then, lifting himself up on his palms, he thrust his hips against Renji, effectively crushing their erections together. Even through so many layers of fabric, he could feel his lover's hardness against his own body, and he bit his lip to stop himself from crying out. Sure, Shuuhei was desperate enough to make love to Renji in the office, but he wasn't in a hurry to advertise the fact and risk having 6th division members flock to the office in alarm.

Renji's breath hitched as intense pleasure coursed through him. _Yes_. Oh god, he loved feeling Shuuhei against him like this; the friction, the promise of what was to come, the images of what Shuuhei would be doing to him later... He arched his back and groaned softly. He looked up at Shuuhei and bucked his hips to signal his need.

Shuuhei grinned evilly and asked in a throaty whisper, "How do you want it?"

"B-behind" was all Renji managed to choke out. The weight on his chest lifted immediately and he found himself yanked onto his feet, then he was pushed—firmly but not roughly—onto his desk. The stack of paperwork that was at the corner of the desk immediately fell over and scattered haphazardly on the floor around the desk. On any other occasions, Renji would have been mortified at the prospect of having to reorganize that ridiculous amount of paper. But now he hardly noticed them; his senses were focused on the hands on his body, one on the small of his back to keep him in place, the other tugging urgently on his hakama.

After a few attempts, he finally felt his robes fall to the floor around his feet. The coarseness of the fabric was instantly replaced by the warmth of Shuuhei's skin against his. He felt the familiar pressure of Shuuhei's finger against his entrance.

"No," Renji gasped.

Shuuhei froze, afraid that he had hurt his lover.

"I meant, I'm ready," Renji said, breathing heavily. "I want _you_, now...hurry!"

Shuuhei hesitated. "Are you sure?" From experience, he knew the after effects from impatience would be quite unpleasant.

"_Yes!"_ Renji hissed. "Just...fuck me!" It was the first time he said this to Shuuhei. He had always felt that it was crude, but there were no better words to convey what he wanted right now.

Shuuhei didn't need to be told twice. He spat in his palm and slicked himself.

Renji cried out when he felt Shuuhei enter him, and his grip on the sides of the desk tightened. Always, it was always there, the ache that came before pleasure. He gritted his teeth.

Shuuhei stopped, alarmed at Renji's cry. But before he could ask the redhead if he was okay, Renji pushed back, encouraging him to continue. He smiled, then snapped his hips forward. He groaned under his breath as he became fully sheathed in his lover.

"Can I move?" Shuuhei asked, his face flushed. The bandage around his head had come slightly undone from his movements, but he didn't care.

Not trusting himself to speak, Renji simply nodded.

Slowly, so as to not cause Renji any more pain than necessary, Shuuhei moved his hips. His blunt nails dug into Renji's skin, but the redhead was oblivious to everything except the dull ache and feeling of fullness within him. The two men panted softly, both wanting nothing more than to be able to scream out in pleasure, but the fear of being discovered like this was too great. It was this same fear, though, that made Shuuhei's blood boil with excitement.

Renji let out an especially long moan when one of Shuuhei's thrusts brushed against his prostate. Shuuhei immediately caught on and angled himself so that he would hit the same spot over and over again. Renji's grunts and suppressed cries sent waves of delight to Shuuhei's groin as he continued to bury himself into the redhead's welcoming heat.

"Are you close?" Renji asked shakily. "Because...ahh...I'm really...c-close..." His words trailed off into a muffled groan as he forced himself to hold off, his knuckles becoming white from his efforts.

Shuuhei grunted in response, then reached under Renji and wrapped his hand around the redhead's neglected erection. "Yes," he said in a raspy whisper.

Renji thought his legs would give out on him when he felt Shuuhei's warm fingers around him. Within a minute, he screamed out his release, concerns of being heard went flying out the window. Shuuhei followed soon after, almost sobbing from the long-awaited relief.

Coming down from his high, Shuuhei let his head fall forward onto Renji's back, his hand still loosely holding on the redhead's hips.

"So much for being quiet, heh," Renji said with a chuckle.

Shuuhei snickered. "Well, let's go before people think that someone just murdered their vice captain," he said, gingerly extracting himself from Renji.

The two of them hastily got dressed; Renji groaning in dismay at all the scattered pieces of paper on the floor as he arranged his _shihakusho_ as neatly as he could.

At the door, Shuuhei turned and planted a chaste kiss on Renji's lips. "I promise I'll make it up to you," he said, still feeling guilty about missing Renji's birthday. "Tell you what, I'll take a day off some time in the next two weeks, and we'll go somewhere. Just the two of us. How about that?"

Renji beamed. "I'll hold you to it," he said, holding up his pinky finger.

Shuuhei stared at the finger in confusion. "Something wrong with your finger?"

Laughing out loud, Renji grabbed Shuuhei's pinky finger and curled it around his own. "This is how humans make a promise," he said with a grin. "And until then, I'll hold on to your present."

* * *

When the footsteps from the two vice captains finally faded away, a small figure peeked his head out from the small adjoining kitchenette, where the teas and snacks were kept. The head turned left and right, then, satisfied that he was indeed alone, the figure finally stepped out.

Oh my _god_, Rikichi thought, his legs shaky. _Why do I always see this kind of stuff? _

All he had done was sneak into the 6th division office after hours to slip in a form that was due that day. He'd completely forgotten about it, but thought that he could get away with it by secretly placing it on the stack of paperwork on Renji's desk, and hope that Renji wouldn't notice that it was late. He was just about to leave the office when he suddenly heard Renji's approaching footsteps, and in his panic, he bolted for the nearest door. In this case, it was the entrance to the kitchenette.

And there he hid, throughout the two vice captain's conversation, and eventually, their...more interesting interaction. He couldn't see clearly what was going on from his hiding place, but he could certainly hear it. When Renji shouted "just fuck me", Rikichi thought he was going to keel over in shock.

He stumbled out of the office and headed for his room, hoping that he won't see anyone on the way there. Because, you see, it would be rather difficult to explain the tent between his legs.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**Yes, there's more to come!**

**_Sneak preview of next chapter:_  
**"I saw them again, I swear I did!"


	6. Chapter 6

**_Previously on "A Test of Faith":_  
**_Oh my god, Rikichi thought, his legs shaky. Why do I always see this kind of stuff?_

* * *

**Chapter 6**

* * *

"I saw them again, I swear I did!" Rikichi whispered urgently, annoyed that Akari refused to believe him.

"Like I said, your word alone is not proof," Akari said cooly. Rikichi looked so desperate that she would have found it funny if the topic had not involved Abarai-fukutaicho.

Rikichi slapped his forehead in exasperation. "Wait for me, I'll get you when they do it tonight. You _have_ to believe me!"

"Hmph, we'll see." With that, Akari turned around and left, leaving Rikichi standing at the corner of their _kido_ practice hall.

Gritting his teeth in frustration, Rikichi cursed under his breath. _I'll show her_, he thought, _I'll show her that I'm not a liar!_ This was no longer a matter of showing off that he was closer to the vice captain; he'd been branded a liar and he was determined to defend his honor.

* * *

That night, Akari was about to doze off when a frantic series of banging shook her door. Alarmed, she threw off her covers and ran to the door. Seeing that it was only Rikichi, her shoulders relaxed and her fear was immediately replaced by a rush of anger. _Why you little..._

"Akari! They've started! Come on!" Rikichi was shouting, his face red from the short run to Akari's quarters.

"Alright, alright! I'll be right out," Akari muttered grumpily as she put on a thicker layer of robes before stepping outside into the cold.

A yellowish, flickering light could be seen from the window of Abarai-fukutaicho's room. She couldn't hear or see anything through the window shades, which made her even more convinced that Rikichi was lying, or at the very least, exaggerating. Just as she opened her mouth to admonish him, Rikichi yanked her sleeves and pulled her into his room.

"Oww!" Akari complained, rubbing her arm where Rikichi's nails had scraped her.

"Shhhh!"

Grumbling under her breath, Akari kept still and listened, mimicking Rikichi's look of concentration. Whatever the boy's hearing, Akari couldn't hear it. She was about to say something again when Rikichi suddenly plastered the left side of his face against the wooden wall separating his room from their vice captain's. His brows furrowed as he strained to listen.

Akari looked at Rikichi, amused by his antics. Feeling a bit foolish, she once again mimicked Rikichi and pressed her ear against the wall.

Ah, muffled voices.

"What are they—" she said, only to have Rikichi frown at her fiercely. She glared at Rikichi and scowled.

Still pressed against the wall, the boy slowly stood up and walked, very slowly along the wall, further into his room. Akari followed. She felt silly, as if she was playing a child's game.

Finally, Rikichi stopped and waved her over. Crouching next to the boy, Akari strained to pick up low noises from next door. She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could get any words out, a moan suddenly came through the wall, loud and clear. She froze, and her heart began to beat faster.

Rikichi stabbed his finger at a patch of wall a few inches from her face, so she scooted over. To her surprise, the gap between the wooden planks on this part of the wall was a little wider than the rest, and for a split second she caught a glimpse of movement.

Now that she was about to actually see something, Akari suddenly felt apprehensive. She had been all gung-ho about getting the proof to Rikichi's claim that she'd never really considered how she would feel if she were to witness it herself. She hesitated, unsure if she really wanted to peek through the gap again. But Rikichi made up her mind for her; he impatiently pushed her, and she nearly collided with the wall. She couldn't help but look, and then her mind went blank.

To say that she felt like she had been struck by lightning, right in the head, would not be too much of an exaggeration. Her vision went blurry for a moment, then it returned. After that, she just couldn't tear her eyes away from the scene that was unfolding in front of her.

It was just bright enough for Akari to make out the bodies and features of the two figures in the next room, their sides facing her. Clear enough that she could easily tell that the man lying on the bed was Abarai-fukutaicho; the fiery red hair that was usually tied up in a high ponytail was draped around his head, his tattoos—for the first time she saw that those tattoos actually extended all the way down his arms and abdomen—stood out clearly against his skin. His fingers were clutching the sheets as if he needed them to anchor himself to the bed. His knees were bent, legs apart. And there, between those strong legs, was a head. There was no way to miss the short, jagged black hair, the blue strip of tattoo, and most prominent of all, the number "69".

Akari forgot to breath. Her mind screamed at her to back away, to stop intruding on such a private, intimate moment between the two lovers. But for the life of her, she could not. She simply remained rooted in place, and watched.

As her vision adjusted to the low light, she watched the 9th division vice captain moved his head up and down very, very slowly. She couldn't see what he was doing exactly, but whatever it was, Abarai-fukutaicho was obviously enjoying it. His eyes were clenched tight and he arched his back. His breathing was quick and shallow, mixed with soft moans here and there.

Then, Abarai-fukutaicho's legs straightened, and Akari got a full view of what _exactly_ Hisagi-fukutaicho was doing. Her eyes took it in, but her brain struggled to process the sight. The dark-haired vice captain was sucking on her vice captains..._you-know-what!_ It reminded her of a child sucking on a popsicle, and she immediately knew that she would never view a popsicle the same way again.

Hisagi-fukutaicho alternated between gentle sucking and sliding his mouth along Abarai-fukutaicho's length. Even in the bad lighting she could see the glisten on her vice captain's..._you-know-where_, well coated by Hisagi-fukutaicho's saliva. She stared, mesmerized, as the dark-haired man lifted his head to leave just the tip in his mouth. _Oh dear god, Rikichi wasn't kidding_, she thought. Now, she'd only seen mens' privates—well, more like boys' really—once or twice in her life, like the time she went to the mixed-_onsen_ with her family, so she really had nothing to use as a comparison to her vice captain's size. But, dear god, that looked...intimidating.

Akari may be young, but she wasn't as clueless as Rikichi. She knew, of course, where that organ was supposed to go. But now that she had seen it, she highly doubted that it could fit into anything, much less..._there_.

Hisagi-fukutaicho left her vice captain's crotch and moved up to lock lips with the redhead. Akari stared at the two men in fascination. There was nothing gross, or funny, or weird, about what she was witnessing. The love shared between the vice captains were evident; every touch was rewarded with a soft sigh, every kiss rewarded with a fiercer kiss in return. They had not uttered a word the entire time, but they didn't seem to have any difficulty understanding each other's needs, their fingers and mouth expertly explored the other's body.

Now the short-haired vice captain held a bottle in his hand. Akari squinted to get a better look; it appeared to be some sort of liquid, which was now being slathered on her vice captain's..._you-know-what_. After a few more strokes, Hisagi-fukutaicho appeared to be satisfied that he had applied enough, and he tossed the little bottle aside. Then, throwing his legs on either side of the redhead's hips, he reached under himself to guide his lover to his entrance. Akari held her breath. _There's no way it's going to fit!_ She thought, heart beating wildly in her chest. _No way!_

Sure enough, Hisagi-fukutaicho made a pained face as he lowered himself. His eyebrows furrowed and he gritted his teeth, but he didn't stop. _Stop! Stop! You're hurting yourself!_ Akari screamed in her mind, clamping her hands over her mouth in horror. _Abarai-fukutaicho, do something!_

Still lying flat on his back, Abarai-fukutaicho lifted his arms and reached for his lover. Their fingers laced together, Hisagi-fukutaicho using the hold to balance himself. Akari stared in disbelief as inch by inch, her vice captain's length disappeared into the other vice captain. _Dear god_, she thought. _What kind of sorcery is this?_

The raven-haired vice captain began to move his hips, alternating between rolling his hips in circles and raising and lowering his body. As their pants and moans filled the room, Akari began to understand why Rikichi complained that he couldn't get enough sleep. There was no way this thin layer of wood could block out the erotic sounds from next door.

At the thought, Akari turned around and found Rikichi staring through another crack in the wall a few inches away from her. That gap was significantly smaller, but the boy was squinting his eyes intently, apparently enjoying whatever limited view he was getting. _Tch, I don't see him complaining now,_ Akari thought, rolling her eyes.

A hoarse cry caused her to plaster her face to her peep hole once more, just in time for her to see Hisagi-fukutaicho collapse forward onto Abarai-fukutaicho's chest. The redhead held his lover's thighs in a fierce grip as his chest heaved. Akari cringed as she imagined the bruises that would surely appear on Hisagi-fukutaicho's legs the next day. Oh, forget the legs, she thought, how about his..._you-know-where?_

As their breathing slowed, the dark-haired vice captain lifted himself off of his lover. The movement was too quick and the room was too dark for Akari to see any details, but she cringed again as she imagined the pain the man must be feeling. He didn't appear to be in pain, though. If anything, he looked calm...and happy. Akari watched as the two men reached for each other again to share a quick, tender kiss. There was a murmur of words, but this time the wall managed to muffle their voices.

But, she was quite certain that she heard Abarai-fukutaicho say "I love you, Shuuhei".

* * *

**To be continued...**

**NOTE:  
A big thank you to everyone who's following this story, especially you guys who left comments! I love you all~**

**On another note, there are indeed mixed-_onsen _(hot spring baths) in Japan. I haven't been to one myself, and I can't imagine ever going to one. :p**

**_Sneak preview to the next chapter:_  
**_She blushed, almost melting under that gaze..._


	7. Chapter 7

**So sorry for the late update! The Avengers and a whole day of hiking got in the way. ;)**

_**Previously on "A Test of Faith":  
**As their pants and moans filled the room, Akari began to understand why Rikichi complained that he couldn't get enough sleep. _**  
**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

* * *

Akari walked across the 6th division grounds. It was a really nice day, the sun was out but it was just cloudy enough to dull the harsh sun rays a little. It was early autumn, so leaves were turning orange. A faint breeze tickled the leaves, bringing some of them to the ground to join those that were already scattered around the trees.

But Akari did not notice any of these. She walked aimlessly, a rake in her hand, almost in circles. Her eyes were open but weren't focused on anything in particular. She looked almost like a zombie, but inside her mind, Akari was battling a storm of emotions from what happened the night before.

* * *

_Awkward_ was not strong enough a word to describe what she felt after Abarai-fukutaicho and Hisagi-fukutaicho went to sleep. Stunned from what she had seen, she remained crouched in silence at the wall in Rikichi's room. For the longest time, she didn't want to turn around, because she didn't know how to face Rikichi. What does one say under such circumstances? _Oh, that was absolutely dazzling, wasn't it?_

One look at Rikichi's face showed that he also didn't think of the "So, I'm right and you're wrong. Now what?" scenario. The boy's face was so red that she would've thought that he was drunk if she hadn't already known the reason for it. Her face burned as well, and she felt embarrassed and shy beyond words. Why, oh why did she bring this upon herself? So Rikichi was telling the truth, so what?

Eventually the boy broke the silence. "It sure is getting chilly, isn't it?"

The line was so absurd that Akari couldn't suppress a giggle. In the end, the two of them had burst out laughing—muffled, of course, so much so that Akari thought she was going to either die from asphyxiation or from the pain of the stitches in her side. It felt good to be able to laugh like this, because after that, she didn't feel so awkward anymore. Obviously she would never ever bring up this topic with Rikichi again, but in a way it felt...well, sort of fun to know that she now shared this secret with him. Nothing could bring two people closer than watching two high-ranking Gotei 13 officers have sex, right?

Back in her own room, as she pulled up her covers to her chin, the scenes kept replaying in her mind...over and over again. Now that the initial wave of awkwardness and shame had passed, a whole new tirade of emotions assaulted her mind. She lay in bed, eyes bright, and struggled to make sense of them.

Maybe she envied them for having each other. She didn't have anyone; she didn't have any close friends, her brother—the light in her life—was gone, and her father refused to talk to her. For a fleeting moment she felt extremely sad. If she were to die right now, would anyone even notice?

_Abarai-fukutaicho would_. At the thought of her tall, handsome vice captain, her mouth curled up into a small smile. He looked so beautiful, she thought. He had gotten up from the bed to get towels after cuddling for a bit. His hair was a mess and stuck to his back and neck, but he looked so sexy like that. Like a majestic beast, she decided. Graceful, powerful. Yet, he was so gentle. She watched as he lovingly wiped down his lover; the way he carefully went over every inch of Hisagi-fukutaicho's body made the simple act almost like a sacred ritual. She saw the raven-haired vice captain reach up to trace his fingers over Abarai-fukutaicho's face, neck, then down his well-toned arms. Their interaction was a true testament to the phrase _action speaks louder than words_.

* * *

Akari's thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a shout. Startled, she ducked behind a tree instinctively. She was, after all, daydreaming instead of raking dried leaves as she should be. Peeking her head from behind the tree, she was relieved to see that it was just some squad members joking amongst themselves. Likely slacking off just like her, she thought, relieved. With a sigh, she plopped herself down on the grass and leaned back against the tree.

And then there was that dream.

* * *

The feather-light touches tickled her skin, warm breath on her neck brought goosebumps on her skin. The weight from the body pressing against her made her pulse quicken in excitement. Her fingers roamed the muscled back and reached up to rake through soft, long hair. As a hand gently cupped her left breast, she shivered and let out a low moan. She could hardly recognize her own voice; she'd never sounded so..feminine...in her life.

Her moan was abruptly cut off as a pair of lips crushed hers. A tongue probed her lips, coaxing her to open her mouth. After a brief moment of hesitation, she parted her lips slightly. Her eyes widened as the strong, rough tongue entered her mouth; it traced along her teeth, brushed against her tongue. It was her first kiss, and she didn't know how to respond. Her lover was patient, and after a few seconds of subtle guidance, she finally kissed back. The kiss was slow at first, then sped up as urgency increased. Her breath came in gasps, as did her lover's.

The hand on her breast slowly trailed down her body, then she felt it slide over her hip. Fingers caressed her thigh, making her sigh in contentment. It felt so good to be held like that. She felt safe, and for once, not alone.

Her lover broke the kiss and pulled away. Her eyes fluttered open, and she looked up to see his face. It was partially covered by a sheet of red hair, and she reached up to brush the hair away so that she could see his eyes. The pair of scarlet eyes that stared back was lustful and held promises of what was to come. She blushed, almost melting under that gaze. Reaching up, she touched his face, then traced her finger tips along his eyes, eyebrows, then along the dark ink that extended from the eyebrows...

Her breath hitched when she felt a gentle nudge on her inner thigh. She tensed up and hesitated. A small whimper escaped her throat.

"Shhh...don't be afraid," the man leaned down to say in her ear. "I won't hurt you..."

* * *

Akari had awoken in a sheen of sweat, heart hammering in her chest. Her whole body felt flushed as if she had a fever, but her fingers were ice cold. The dream felt so real that she could almost still feel the tickle of his fingers on her skin. And that...that rush of pain and pleasure as he entered her left her panting even as her head gradually became clearer. After her breathing slowed down, she buried her face in her hands and sobbed. As if she wasn't already confused enough by the flood of emotions that she was still trying to understand, she had to have this...this _dream_. She had _never_ had a dream like that before, ever; in fact she had never been with a man before. _Is this really what it feels like in real life?_ It felt foreign, wrong, but yet so good that she almost longed to be back in the dream.

She felt disgusted and angry with herself. How dare her mind play tricks like this on her; to turn her beloved Abarai-fukutaicho into such an evil temptation! She respected him like any subordinate would respect a superior, looked up to him as if he were a brother, and now her mind had corrupted those feelings with these forbidden images.

Akari trembled as images from the dream haunted her as she rested against the tree. Her own cries of pleasure from the dream echoed in her ears, sending waves of nausea through her body; this was so _wrong_. Abarai-fukutaicho was not hers to take, not even hers to _dream_ about. And the fact that she did scared her. She was a smart girl; she knew where this was heading, what her subconscious was trying to tell her. She tried to blame it on the arousing "show" she witnessed right before bed, but even she didn't believe herself. Her frustration pushed her to her mental limit, and she couldn't stop a tear from rolling down her cheek.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**Thank you all for following the story! :) **

_**Sneak preview of the next chapter:  
**"Do you mean to say that I cannot handle this myself?" His voice was cold._


	8. Chapter 8

**_Previously on "A Test of Faith":_  
**_Abarai-fukutaicho was not hers to take, not even hers to dream about. And the fact that she did scared her. She was a smart girl; she knew where this was heading, what her subconscious was trying to tell her._**  
**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

* * *

"Get your ass out of bed!" Shuuhei flung open the door to Renji's quarters and bellowed.

Renji ran out from the bathroom in alarm, then scowled when he realized that it was not an emergency. "Geez," he grumbled. "I'm already up!"

Shuuhei grinned as he closed the door and dropped a sack on the floor. "Well, I didn't want us to waste any time," he said with a wink. A week ago he'd promised Renji that he would take a day off to spend a little couple-time away from the office. Since the new edition of the Monthly Seireitei magazine had gone out smoothly a few days ago and he'd completed most of the important work for the division, he finally felt comfortable enough to let the 3rd seat handle the rest while he took a break. He would make it a day to remember, he thought. He smiled as he mentally ran through the plans he had for the two of them that day. That sack on the floor contained more than just food, that's for certain.

He sat on the bed and enjoyed the view as Renji disrobed to change into a fresh set of clothes. His eyes feasted greedily on the lean outline of his lover's body. Renji had no idea how delicious he looked stark naked. The muscles on his broad shoulders flexed as he pulled up his hakama. His upper body was still bare, and Shuuhei's eyes followed the intricate patterns of the dark ink on Renji's skin. They were always a mesmerizing sight, those tattoos.

Renji finally noticed him watching, and he turned around. Smirking, he walked towards the bed. Once in front of Shuuhei, he leaned down to capture the man's lips in a slow, sensual kiss.

"Like what you see?" Renji purred.

Shuuhei gulped as he felt a stir down south. Well, _this_ wasn't on his schedule for the day. But he loved it when Renji taunts him like this. The redhead knew that Shuuhei has a weakness for teasing, and so he tempted him with his body, leaning close enough for Shuuhei to feel his warmth, but moving away every time Shuuhei tried to touch him.

With a growl, Shuuhei swung his leg suddenly and caught Renji unawares. The redhead yelped in surprise and tripped forward, right into Shuuhei's welcoming arms.

"Hey! You played dirty!" Renji yelled as Shuuhei laughed. Then he fell silent when Shuuhei's lips descended upon his. Shuuhei nibbled on the redhead's lower lip lightly and felt Renji smile into the kiss.

"Can't wait until we leave the house?" the redhead teased with a naughty twinkle in his eyes and watched as Shuuhei blushed slightly. It was adorable how the raven-haired man still felt embarrassed sometimes when Renji makes fun of his...eagerness. In fact, he looked so adorable right now that Renji wanted to devour him on the spot. And so Renji pinned Shuuhei onto the bed and bent down to nip at his neck.

Shuuhei moaned at the slight pain at one of his most sensitive areas, and felt himself quickly getting aroused. _This wouldn't do_, he thought. He had plans for the entire day, he won't be able to last the whole day if he were to... Then all logical thoughts flew out of his mind when a warm hand cupped his semi-hard manhood.

"Renji..." he gasped when the hand began to pump, coaxing him to full erection.

"Hmm?" The redhead murmured. His lips continued to toy with Shuuhei's neck, enjoying the taste of the smooth skin on his tongue.

"I-I want you, _now_," Shuuhei stammered, suddenly frantic with need. "Now, please..."

Those words brought a thrill down Renji's body and he immediately complied. Keeping his left hand on Shuuhei's arousal, he fumbled for the bottle on the bedstand. After a few failed attempts, Shuuhei gave a grunt of impatience and sat up to grab the bottle. He thrusted the bottle into Renji's face.

The redhead couldn't help laughing out loud as he took the bottle and began to slick himself. Shuuhei groaned at the unspoken jab.

He let out a soft cry when Renji entered him. Only the head went in, though, then Renji went still. Confused, Shuuhei lifted his face and looked at Renji in inquiry. He was greeted by an evil grin.

"Are we in a hurry?" Renji asked teasingly. When Shuuhei nodded with a glare, he pushed in just a _tiny_ bit, just barely enough for Shuuhei to feel some friction. "How much of a hurry?" he asked with a smirk.

Shuuhei's eyes narrowed as he realized Renji's scheme. _The evil bastard_.

"So?" Renji asked again, refusing to move until he heard from Shuuhei. The man squirmed under him. Renji placed a hand on Shuuhei's hip to keep him in place. "Well I guess I can go just a _little_ bit more." Then he pushed in slightly, again giving Shuuhei just enough friction to yearn for more. At the same time, he pressed his hips down on Shuuhei so that his belly crushed against Shuuhei's erection.

Shuuhei grunted in frustration. He wanted to thrust his hips up to get some relief but Renji's grip was firm. With a curse, he said through gritted teeth, "I swear to you if you don't move _now_ I will—" His sentence ended in a sharp cry as Renji buried himself to the hilt in one swift, sudden thrust.

Renji chuckled in Shuuhei's ear. "You really need to let me know that it's an emergency," he whispered with a soft laugh."Hey—oww!" He yelped as Shuuhei dug his nail into his arms as punishment for his cruel antics.

Their laughs turned into moans as Renji's pace quickened. Before long, Shuuhei arched his back with a shudder as he reached his climax, bringing Renji along with him. They sighed and slowly relaxed, then—

"Hisagi-fukutaicho!" A loud yell, followed by a crash and a howl of pain caused the two vice captains to jump in shock. After hastily wrapping his robes around himself and nearly tripping over in the process, Shuuhei flung the door open to find a 9th division member standing there, _shihakusho_ in tatters, gasping and rubbing his shoulder where he had apparently just smashed into the door.

Shuuhei frowned. "What's the matter, Takahiro-san?" he asked, half annoyed and half concerned. He had literally just left these people not half an hour ago and apparently something had already gone wrong.

The young man looked frantic as he said, "Makoto-san and Koji-san got into a fight! A couple of us tried to stop them, but then people started hitting each other, and now everything's out of control! I-I can't get them to stop!"

Shuuhei sighed. He looked at Renji with a pained expression on his face.

"Oh, you're kidding me," Renji groaned. "Come on, it's just a schoolyard fight, let them duke it out and they'll be fine!" He realized immediately that he had misspoken when Shuuhei face darkened.

"I'm shocked that you take our duties as Gotei 13 officers so lightly, Renji," Shuuhei said cooly.

"You know I didn't mean it that way," Renji said hurriedly. "I just...I just didn't think that it's something so serious that you have to go back immediately, that's all."

Shuuhei's face remained expressionless, but Renji could tell that he was angry. He decided that it was useless to argue so he said, "I'm sorry, Shuuhei. Come on, I'll go with you." He quickly tied his bandana around his forehead and walked out. Then he paused. Shuuhei was still standing where he was.

"Come on, what are you waiting for?" Renji said, not able to hide his impatience. He wasn't upset _at_ Shuuhei, he was just annoyed that the 9th division members couldn't take care of themselves for even half a day. Seriously, how old were they, fucking fifteen? Plus, what's the big deal about a fight anyway? The people in the 11th squad fought all the time, and they all turned out fine!

"Just where are you going?" Shuuhei said slowly, turning to face Renji.

Renji stared at the dark-haired man. _Shit_. His impatience had probably gone across as a sign of disrespect for Shuuhei's division. If Shuuhei hated anything in the world, it would be people looking down on the 9th squad. Renji knew that the man had worked extremely hard to rebuild its reputation since Tousen's betrayal, and he was fiercely protective of his division.

"Going to see if I can help you out," Renji said carefully.

Shuuhei's eyes flashed. "Do you mean to say that I cannot handle this myself?" His voice was cold.

Renji's heart sank. How did things get so bad so quickly? "No, I just thought that two people working together can get things done faster," he said, hoping that he chose the right words.

"Thank you," Shuuhei said, "But I'm sure I can handle a _schoolyard fight_ myself just fine."

With that, he turned around and stomped off, leaving Renji standing at his own doorway. The young man from the 9th division threw an apologetic glance at the redhead and scrambled after his vice captain.

Renji slumped against his door and buried his face in his hands. _Wonderful. Just fucking wonderful_.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**I know, I'm being cruel to Renji. ;) **

**_Sneak preview to the next chapter:_  
**_"Hoero, Zabimaru!"_


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm writing as fast a I can! Thank you all so much for your patience! ^.^  
**

**_Previously on "A Test of Faith":  
_**_Renji's heart sank. How did things get so bad so quickly?_**_  
_**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

* * *

With an ear-splitting boom, the tree exploded; chunks of charred wood and leaves flew everywhere, hitting other trees in the vicinity. The ground shook for a few seconds. The tree sat there, smoldering, as debris gradually settled around it.

Up on a branch in another tree, Renji stood among leaves. He held onto the trunk for support and took in ragged breaths as he rested. His sweat-soaked _shihakusho_ stuck to his chest and back, and sweat ran in rivulets down the sides of his face.

Since he had nothing to do after Shuuhei left, Renji decided to use the time to escape into the edge of Seireitei to blow off some steam by doing some extra training with Zabimaru. He tried to ignore the mixed feelings brewing in his mind from his exchange with Shuuhei, but he wasn't having much success.

Sure, he shouldn't have been so impatient. If he hadn't gone and said something stupid like that they'd probably still have a good half a day left to spend together after Shuuhei settles the fight in the 9th division. It _really_ was just a schoolyard fight in Renji's mind. Fighting amongst junior members was very common; he'd lost count of how often he'd done it when he was in the 11th squad. Even though he felt bad about being rude about the 9th division, he felt that Shuuhei had totally overreacted. And that made him pissed.

Was it so hard for Shuuhei to be a little bit more understanding of his feelings? This was the second time Shuuhei let him down about the same thing. It wasn't like Renji didn't know the importance of their work, the guy didn't need to get so angry. And to take it out on him in front of a member of the 9th division? Renji gritted his teeth at the memory. He may not be Kuchiki Byakuya, but he had pride too.

And so he took out his frustration on the poor, innocent trees, blasting them to bits one by one, not caring if he would get into trouble for causing so much destruction to the grounds in Seireitei.

His breathing slowed down enough for him to go for another round. Gripping the hilt of his zanpakutou, he mustered his energy and jumped off the tree branch. "_Hoero, Zabimaru!_"

Zabimaru's whip-like Shikai form exploded forward and sliced through the thick vegetation, aimed straight for another tree not too far away. Suddenly, Renji caught a slight movement in the corner of his eye. Whatever that was, it was heading right into Zabimaru's path.

"Watch out!" Renji shouted a warning, just in case it was a person. At the same time, he leapt up in the air and flicked his wrist to change the direction of his zanpakutou. As he soared above the trees, he looked down and saw, to his horror, a small figure barely darting aside in time to avoid direct contact with his blade. He immediately recognized the ponytail and the purple _obi_.

"Akari!" he yelled, his heart pounding in his chest. _Shit shit shit shit! _The minute his feet touched the ground, he rushed forward to check on the girl, who was on her knees with her left hand clasped tightly over her right arm. Her zanpakutou lay on the ground next to her.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," Akari said, her voice trembling slightly. She didn't think she was badly injured, but it was quite a scare. If Renji hadn't change Zabimaru's direction at the right moment, she would have been seriously hurt, if not sliced into two. She let go of her right arm and looked down at the tear in her sleeve. Lifting it gingerly, she sighed in relief to see a small cut on her arm. Blood was seeping out from the wound, but it wasn't full-on bleeding. It looked like this was her lucky day; thanks to her vice captain's quick reaction, the blade had only managed to nick her.

Renji bent down to check her injury. "Thank god," he said hoarsely, relieved beyond words. If he had wounded his subordinate...

"Sorry for the scare," Akari said sheepishly. "I heard you training in the area but I didn't expect to get so close." She looked at her vice captain, who was still breathing heavily from the sudden rush of adrenalin. He looked at her, and she immediately blushed and averted her eyes.

"What were you thinking?" Renji demanded fiercely. "If you can hear me, that means you're too close! It's common sense to keep a distance from other people when you train! I could've killed you!"

Akari's face turned a deeper shade of crimson, this time in shame. "I-I'm sorry," she said in a small voice. "I'll be more careful next time."

Renji immediately regretted his harsh words; she was young after all, he could've been gentler. He kicked himself for letting his bluntness hurt someone for the second time that day. "I didn't mean to yell at you," he said in a kinder tone. "I was just...you could have..."

"I know," Akari hastily said. "It's my fault." She picked up her zanpakutou and stood up. Her eyes widened in surprise as she nearly toppled over; she didn't expect her legs to be so wobbly. Looks like she was more frightened than she'd thought.

Renji caught her as she fell. Akari flinched as if his hands burned her. Surprised, Renji let go and watched as Akari straightened up and regained her composure. He had no idea what the hell that was about. He'd probably accidentally touched her wound, he thought.

"Thanks," Akari muttered, hoping that her vice captain wouldn't notice the pink spots in her cheeks. His hands had been so warm and firm even through her sleeves; for a split second she was reminded of the touch of those hands on her breast in the dream, and she clenched her fists in frustration. _Stop! _

Renji stared at the girl's odd facial expression in amusement. Probably still embarrassed about the incident, he thought. Must be a girl thing that he didn't get, because he would've just dismissed it as sheer good luck and moved on.

"Well, I'm glad you're okay," he said, sliding Zabimaru into its sheath. "I'm going to continue training for a bit, you take care of yourself and don't get too close again."

Akari nodded. "I wish to continue as well."

Renji's eyes widened in surprise. He didn't think she would resume training so soon after the close call; she had looked so distraught after all.

"In that case, I'll give you some pointers about using _suriage-waza_," he said. "I know you tried to use it when you sparred with Kazu, but you didn't get it right."

Akari felt a moment of panic but tried to keep her face neutral. She needed to stay away from Abarai-fukutaicho before she did anything stupid. "Umm, I was actually thinking of practicing...uhh, kido," she lied. She'd heard that her vice captain was very bad at kido, so she hoped that this would get him to leave her alone.

"Oh, come on," Renji said good-naturedly. "It'll take just a few minutes." Then he gestured for the girl to follow him into the clearing.

Not knowing what else to do, Akari followed him numbly.

"Okay, now, the key to this technique is to keep the point of your zanpakutou forward," Renji began, holding Zabimaru in its unreleased form and making sure that Akari was mimicking his pose. "Good. Now, you shouldn't have to step back or to the side when you do this. Relax, don't tense up your shoulder like that, yes...okay, now, when your opponent's sword is against yours, use gentle pressure to slide yours up. The key is to be _gentle_."

Nodding, Akari mimicked her vice captain's slow motion upward slide moment. Renji smiled at her reassuringly, and she immediately looked away to stare intently at her sword.

"Okay, now, let me see you do this," Renji said, pointing his sheathed sword at her. He gestured with his head for Akari to place hers—sheathed, of course—against his sword as if she was blocking an attack.

Akari complied. Holding her sword firmly against her vice captain's, she gritted her teeth and swung it upwards.

"No no no...that's too much! Remember, be gentle. Don't put so much pressure on your right hand. That's why you hurt your wrist that day, you see," Renji explained patiently.

Nodding, Akari repeated the action, determined to get it right this time.

"Nope...still too hard," Renji said, shaking his head. He scratched his head, thinking of how else he could describe it to make it her understand it better. "Okay, umm, here, let me demonstrate." He moved to stand behind her, then, before Akari could react, he reached from both sides and gripped the hilt of her sword, wrapping his hands over hers, essentially hugging her from behind.

The girl froze as her heart jumped to her throat. She trembled as the man's body heat enveloped her, and fought to keep her hands steady. She wondered if he could feel how cold her hands were. _Don't freak out don't freak out don't freak out..._

"There, do you understand now?"

Akari blinked. Had he been talking all this while? She hadn't heard a word since his hands touched hers. Her face flushed deeply in shame as she realized that she had no idea what he had just taught her.

Renji took her reaction to mean that she didn't understand, so he moved towards her to show her again.

"No!" Akari blurted, her voice in a higher pitch than usual. She looked at her vice captain's confused expression and added quickly, "I mean...I got it."

Renji shrugged. "Okay," he said. He thought that she was acting kind of weird, but didn't see a reason not to believe her. "Here, practice it with me one more time," he said, bringing up his sword and positioning himself in a fighting stance.

Heart beating wildly, Akari took a deep breath and mimicked the pose.

"Here I come!" With a loud yell, Renji swung his sword down.

In a flash, Akari brought hers up to block her vice captain's attack and heard a satisfying thud as the sword sheaths crossed. She forced herself to relax and waited until the attack was almost complete, then with a swift lift of her arms, she slid her sword up. To her delight and surprise, she managed to deflect the blow and Renji actually lost his balance for a split second.

"Good job!" A voice called out.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**Again, I don't know _kendo_, the technique and tips mentioned here are thanks to KENDOINFO dot NET. Please forgive any inaccuracies.  
**

_**Sneak preview of the next chapter:  
**"Shuuhei, meet Akari. Akari, this is Hisagi-fukutaicho from the 9th division."_


	10. Chapter 10

**_Previously on "A Test of Faith":_  
**_She trembled as the man's body heat enveloped her, and fought to keep her hands steady. She wondered if he could feel how cold her hands were._**  
**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

* * *

Shuuhei stepped out from the shadows of the trees, clapping, with a big smile on his face. "That was excellent," he told the girl, nodding in approval.

Akari stared at him in surprise; the man had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. But she had no trouble recognizing him—no one else had that prominent blue stripe across his cheek and nose the way he had, not to mention the number "69" and the three scary scars that stood in stark contrast against his skin.

Renji's eyes narrowed as he watched Shuuhei walk towards them. The man looked completely normal—cheerful, even, smiling as if they hadn't just had a row a few hours ago. "How long have you been watching us?" he asked gruffly.

Shuuhei smiled. "Long enough to know that you're a great teacher, and that you have a brilliant student," he said. He looked at Renji's face and could easily tell that the redhead was still upset about their fight. Well, he thought with a pang of guilt, it had been pretty one-sided. He hadn't been fair to Renji; the redhead may have been tactless but Shuuhei should've known that he had no bad intentions.

The fight on the 9th division grounds had been easily dismissed—the mere sight of the dark look on their vice captain's face was enough to stop the brawling members. Shuuhei always treated his subordinates with respect and kindness, but over the years the 9th division members had come to learn that he could be stern—and downright scary—when he was cross. And, judging from the glint in his eyes and the flare of his spiritual pressure, he was feeling _very_ cross.

After giving them a good talking-to, Shuuhei had gone to his office to simmer in anger and guilt. He had blown it, again. What was he thinking, losing his temper like that?

He imagined that Renji must be feeling like crap right now. The poor guy, Shuuhei thought miserably. He was sure Renji had been looking forward to this day, because he certainly had. After mentally berating himself for a few more minutes, he finally stood up. He should go find Renji and apologize to him. Perhaps it's not too late to salvage what's left of the day.

Shuuhei was surprised when he arrived at Renji's place to find it empty. Closing his eyes, he focused his concentration to search for Renji's spiritual pressure. It wasn't all that difficult to find. Shuuhei winced at the intensity of it; Renji was obviously taking his anger out on something.

When Shuuhei finally traced the spiritual pressure—which seemed to have calmed down abruptly—to its source, Renji had his back towards him. The redhead was talking, seemingly to himself, as he made slow upward swings with a zanpakutou, one which Shuuhei did not recognize. Then he stepped away, revealing a short pony-tailed girl, presumably the owner of the zanpakutou.

Shuuhei raised his eyebrows in surprise; Renji was conducting a personal tutoring session? Leaning back against a tree, he watched in silence as Renji coached the girl. He smiled to himself; it was amusing to see the tall, broad-shouldered redhead teach _Zanjutsu_to such a dainty-looking girl. The redhead literally had to bend down so as to not tower over her; the girl was so short that she barely reached Renji's chest. He wondered what happened. How did Renji suddenly go from _I'm-so-pissed-I-want-to-burn-down-all-of-Seireitei_ to...this?

When the girl gave a soft whoop of delight when she managed to get the technique right, Shuuhei couldn't help cheering out loud. It really was a beautiful execution of _suriage waza_.

Now that he was standing close to the girl, he noticed her slightly disheveled appearance and the small cut on her right sleeve. Wow, Renji sure took coaching seriously, he thought, feeling a little worried.

"That wasn't from training," Renji said, following Shuuhei's gaze. He didn't elaborate, though. Instead, he just eyed Shuuhei apprehensively. Was the man here to continue their fight? He glanced at Akari and tensed up at the prospect of making a scene in front of his subordinate.

Shuuhei sighed at Renji's defensive stance. "I'm sorry, Renji," he said, feeling a little embarrassed since the girl was right there. "I...I was wrong to lose my temper just now. I apologize."

Akari looked from Shuuhei to Renji, then back again. No wonder she had sensed that something was off the moment the 9th division vice captain appeared. She had thought it was strange when Renji's body stiffened at the sight of his lover, now this explained it.

Renji blinked in surprise, then his shoulders sagged in relief. He grinned sheepishly back. "I'm sorry too," he said, scratching the back of his head. "I shouldn't have brushed off your problem like that..."

"We're even, then?" Shuuhei asked with a smile.

Renji laughed and gave him a quick hug. "Yep, we're even," he said, grinning.

Akari looked at the two men, feeling awkward and embarrassed to intrude on what should be a private moment. Should she leave...? On one hand she was sure they'd appreciate being alone, but on the other hand it would be rude for her to just sneak away quietly.

Suddenly remembering that Akari was still standing there, Renji clapped his hand on Shuuhei's shoulder and turned the man around to face the girl. "Shuuhei, meet Akari. Akari, this is Hisagi-fukutaicho from the 9th division."

Akari nodded and bowed in greeting. Even though she'd seen the man plenty of times, this was actually the first time she saw him up close. Despite the bad-boy look he had going—tattoos, scars, spiky short hair, choker—he actually looked like a soft-spoken man in person. He has kind eyes, Akari thought. Those eyes were now regarding her with curiosity.

"She's only been with my division for 3 months," Renji said, completely oblivious of how the other two were silently sizing up each other. "Very skillful with her sword."

Akari's chest swelled with pride at the compliment. "That's great," she heard Hisagi-fukutaicho say. "Well, Akari, if you don't mind, I'd like to steal your _sensei_ for the rest of the day."

"O-of course," Akari said with a bow, feeling an unexpected stab of disappointment. She immediately mentally kicked herself. _You have to stop acting like some stupid, love-sick girl_, she told herself fiercely. Despite it all, she couldn't help stealing a sideways glance at her vice captain. His body was angled towards Hisagi-fukutaicho, his face lit up with a smile in a way completely different from how he smiled at her.

She would never be able to make him smile like this, Akari realized with a twinge of sadness. She envied Hisagi-fukutaicho, and wondered what they had fought about—obviously they had, based on the apologies. No wonder Abarai-fukutaicho's attacks were so powerful today; she had thought that it was an overkill to release so much spiritual pressure during training. After all, one should be honing battle skills, not simply wasting energy.

By the time she straightened up from the bow, Renji and Shuuhei had already begun to walk away. She stared after the two vice captains; Renji had his hands raised and laced behind his head, talking animatedly, while Shuuhei had both hands in his pockets, laughing softly at something the redhead had said.

Feeling suddenly alone, Akari turned around and walked off to continue training by herself. If she hadn't looked away so quickly, she would've caught Shuuhei turning back to look at her, his gaze lingering on her petite frame as he nursed an odd sense of foreboding.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**_Sneak preview of the next chapter:_  
**_Akari froze, not able to tear her eyes away from the impending danger, yet unable to move her body._


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you everyone for your patience! Here are some fresh lemons for a snack! xD**

_**Previously on "A Test of Faith":**_  
_You have to stop acting like some stupid, love-sick girl, she told herself fiercely._**  
**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

* * *

"Faster! Ohhh...fuck, please...faster..._faster_..."

"No."

"Wha—what do you mean 'no'? Ohh...god...faster...faster..."

"No."

"P-please! Faster!"

"No."

"Fuck you!"

"But you're already fucking me."

Renji thought he was going to lose his mind. There he was, pinned down on his own bed, knees bent and legs apart at Shuuhei's mercy. His erection throbbed painfully as he felt the faint ache that always accompanied the familiar feeling of fullness in his tight passage...oh, and that goddamn friction that was there but not quite enough to push him over the edge. And so he was left teetering on the edge, his release just barely within reach, _so close_ yet cruelly denied just as he felt that tightening in the pit of his stomach.

"Faster! Please!" Renji howled, clutching the sheets in frustration. He could feel tears pooling at the corners of his eyes, threatening to trickle down his cheeks. "Shuuhei!" A string of muttered curses followed.

Holding the redhead in place with firm grasps on his shoulders, Shuuhei grinned cheekily as he rolled his hips, thrusting at a steady but agonizingly slow pace into the man writhing beneath him. His breath was ragged and the muscles in his arms strained to support his weight. He had been going at this same speed for a while now; he knew that Renji must be aching for release, but he repeatedly denied the redhead by keeping still every time he felt the muscles pulse slightly around his member.

Renji snapped his hips upwards in an attempt to increase the friction but his efforts were in vain. Shuuhei had purposely positioned himself such that his body would not brush against Renji's arousal, and with him maintaining the slow pace like that while restricting the redhead's movements, Renji couldn't get much relief no matter how hard he tried.

"Ohhh..." Renji closed his eyes and let out a long moan. He felt a tear escape his eye and roll down his right cheek, and he almost sobbed. He was getting desperate, very very desperate, and for a fleeting moment he wondered if he could simply use kido to bind his lover and turn the tables.

"Do you promise you won't kill me if I let you come now?" Shuuhei asked teasingly.

"I'll t-try," Renji gasped, laughing in spite of himself. He gritted his teeth..._any time now, any time now_... His body tensed up in anticipation as he felt Shuuhei slowly pull out almost all the way. Then his mind went blank as Shuuhei slammed back in and began to pound—hard, fast, and rough—just the way Renji liked it. A strangled cry left his lips as a wave of unbelievably intense pleasure swept him away.

Shuuhei watched as the redhead's face contorted in the rush of his climax, then he gasp out loud as tight muscles clenched down on him. Grunting, he spilled his seed deep within Renji, then collapsed onto the man's sweaty, semen-covered body. The sudden release of tension in the muscles left his arms trembling as he lay there listening to the erratic heartbeat in the chest beneath him.

"Fuck...you..." Renji cursed between pants.

"Again?" Shuuhei asked, feigning innocence. He was immediately rewarded by a playful slap on the side of his head, and he burst out laughing.

"You're unbelievable," Renji murmured as he raked through the short dark hair of the man lying on top of him.

The head lifted, and a pair of dark grey eyes peered at him. "Do you not like it?"

Renji snorted. "Of course I love it, idiot," he said, laughing softly. "God...you really know how to make me feel good." He took in a deep breath and smiled at the faint scent of shampoo from Shuuhei's hair—how did the guy always manage to smell so good even after he sweats? "I love everything you do," he added, caressing Shuhhei's back. "I love _you_."

"I love you too," Shuuhei whispered and tightened his arms around his lover. It may sound silly for a manly man like him—and he would never admit it in public, but cuddling after sex was one of his favorite things to do. He loved basking in the afterglow and feeling the warmth from Renji's body like this.

Unfortunately for him, he didn't get the chance to enjoy it for long. A hell butterfly fluttered in through window and hovered over them. Groaning, Shuuhei sat up and rubbed his sore arms, while Renji propped himself up on his elbows.

"_Attention all captains and vice captains of the Gotei 13, there has been a report of hollow-sighting in Karakura town. Please report to your stations and stand by for further instructions. I repeat, attention all captains and vice captains..."_

Before the message finished repeating, the two vice captains had already shrugged into their _shihakusho_—Renji taking more time than usual because he had to clean himself.

Just as Renji was about to leave, Shuuhei stopped him.

"Here," the dark-haired man said, retrieving a small object from his pocket. It was a small _o-mamori_. Holding up Renji's right hand, Shuuhei pressed it into the open palm. "Happy birthday," he said with a smile.

Renji stared at the amulet in his hand in surprise. The pouch was made of beautifully-embroidered cloth, and it felt like there was something thin and solid inside.

"To keep you safe," Shuuhei said, blushing faintly. He had heard of this kind of amulets from Rukia; they were supposed to bring good luck and provide protection for its owner.

"Shuuhei…" Renji whispered, feeling touched. After tucking the _o-mamori_ carefully into his _shihakusho_, he cupped Shuuhei's face and planted a soft kiss on the man's lips.

Then, they darted off in opposite directions.

* * *

"Abarai-fukutaicho," Kuchiki Byakuya in his typical monotone. "We've been assigned recon duty, you are to select another member of our division and head to Karakura town as soon as possible. Do _not_ engage the enemy unless it is absolutely necessary. Report back with your observations in three hours."

"Yes, taicho," Renji said with a bow, then he left the office to find the 3rd seat. As it turned out, the 3rd seat officer was ill, so he was stuck with the duty of finding a substitute at the last moment.

Looking around at the 6th squad officers in the room, his eyes finally settled on a familiar face. "Akari, come with me," he said briskly and turned on his heel before the girl could even react.

Face flushed in a mixture of excitement, pride, and nervousness, Akari jumped to her feet and ran after her vice captain. _A real mission!_ she thought, feeling a rush of adrenalin. As she scrambled to keep up with Renji, she ran her fingers along the hilt of her zanpakutou for reassurance. The prospect of facing real danger sent her pulse racing, to the point that she didn't even think of feeling embarrassed or happy that she was going on a mission with just her vice captain.

* * *

"Ichigo! Rukia!" Renji called out at the two figures dressed in _shihakusho_ as he stepped out of the _senkai_ gate. His friends, having anticipating his arrival, stood in front of the gate to greet him.

Akari looked at the orange-haired teenager in fascination. So this was the substitute shinigami whom everyone raved about, she thought. Kurosaki Ichigo was surprisingly thin for someone said to be extremely strong. Her eyes lingered on his ridiculously large zanpakutou. Then she turned to look at the petite girl standing next to him; she was short—even shorter than Akari herself, with shoulder-length black hair and large violet eyes. Kuchiki Rukia, the adoptive sister of the revered 6th division captain. She had heard a lot about her, too.

"Guys, this is Akari from my squad. Akari, Ichigo, Rukia," Renji said briskly, anxious for action. The three of them nodded at each other in greeting.

"Relax, I've only seen two so far," Ichigo said with a shrug. "I don't know why you guys got all riled up."

Renji glared at the boy. "They're taking these sightings very seriously," he said. "Remember the last hollow attack?"

Ichigo fell silent and nodded grimly. That was the incident that nearly got Shuuhei killed.

"They haven't done any damage so far," Rukia added.

"In that case, let's split up and keep our eyes open. Meet back here in half an hour," Renji suggested. Ichigo and Rukia nodded in agreement, then they disappeared with a quick flash step.

Akari hesitated. Was she supposed to go off by herself too? She suddenly felt a stab of fear and uncertainty. She told herself that she was ready for the field, but she hadn't been in a real battle before.

"Follow me," Renji said, saving Akari from her dilemma.

* * *

Almost twenty minutes had passed, and they had yet to see anything out of the ordinary. Akari felt the tension in her body gradually melt away. Perhaps she won't see any real action today after all.

"Are you scared?" Renji asked. As usual, he was blunt about it. If someone were to ask Ikkaku or Ichigo this question...

"A little," Akari admitted, her face turning pink. She had to say, with her non-existent experience, she would be rather useless in a real battle.

As if he could read her thoughts, Renji said with a smile, "Everyone has to start somewhere, you know. You should've seen Ichigo, he was an absolute idiot in the beginning. You'll learn after being in enough fights."

Akari nodded, feeling a bit better. Now that the high from the adrenalin rush had more or less dissipated, she was painfully aware that she was alone with her vice captain. Feeling her cheeks burn in embarrassment, she turned her face away to avoid looking at the man.

"Che, this is boring," the redhead commented.

He's bored, Akari realized in amusement. "Do you enjoy fighting?" she asked curiously.

Renji's face broke out in a grin. "I enjoy some action now and then," he said. "Feels good to kill off those bastards."

Akari laughed. "Well, I don't know if I would enjoy it so much," she said, caresssing the hilt of her sword.

As if to test her, a sudden explosion rang a few blocks from them. Smoke bellowed from the ground, blocking their view completely.

"Come on!" Renji yelled and flash-stepped towards the scene. Akari followed, doing her best to keep up with her vice captain's speed.

* * *

The ruined building stood smoldering. Akari looked around her apprehensively as she stepped carefully among the debris. It was amazing—and frightening—to see that the hollow was able to deal so much damage in so little time. By the time the two of them arrived, there was no sign left of the creature.

Renji ran his fingers along a crumbled wall, examining the jagged edges. His brows furrowed in thought. It was not clean slices, so he could probably rule out blades as the weapon. The amount of small-sized broken bricks on the ground indicated that the hollow had smashed right through the building. It could mean that the hollow was very large, or it had some kind of blunt weapon.

Akari wandered around the building, eyeing the surrounding area. The explosion had centered on this building, but the ones within ten feet had taken some damage as well. Here and there she could see smashed windows and broken roof tiles. She crouched down to inspect the debris to see if she could pick out any clues about the hollow.

With her back towards the sky, she did not see the hollow descending upon her, but Renji caught the whiff of foreign spiritual pressure just in time to turn around and see the hollow raise an oversized hammer over its head. His blood ran cold as muscular arms flexed to swing down the weapon.

"Watch out!"

At his scream, Akari turned around and turned pale at the sight of the approaching creature. She froze, not able to tear her eyes away from the impending danger, yet unable to move her body.

"No!"

* * *

**To be continued...**

**NOTE:  
****O-mamori are Japanese amulets, typically sold at religious sites such as shrines. They typically come in the form of a small brocade bag containing a prayer or religious inscription. Sometimes it may contain some other personal artifacts, like a photo. They are believed to bring good luck and/or ward off bad luck.**

_**Sneak preview of the next chapter:  
**"Open your eyes, please...open your eyes..."_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Previously on "A Test of Faith":  
**With her back towards the sky, she did not see the hollow descending upon her, but Renji caught the whiff of foreign spiritual pressure just in time to turn around and see the hollow raise an oversized hammer over its head._

* * *

**Chapter 12**

* * *

"_Hado no 31, Shakkaho!"_

A fiery red ball of light shot to the sky and exploded, the intensity of the kido spell sent a shock wave that threw Renji onto his back. Debris rained down all around him, some grazing his face. Blood immediately seeped out from the tiny wounds.

"Akari!" Renji screamed hoarsely. There was no way the tiny girl could've survived this.

The thick, choking smoke gradually lifted, and Renji stared at the dull yellow glow of circular-shaped energy that shielded the small, crouched figure beneath it.

"Impossible..." Renji muttered in bewilderment.

The glow from the spinning disk of spiritual pressure dissipated as Akari stood up, coughing and spitting.

"I'm okay! I'm okay!" she called out between coughs. She looked disheveled; her ponytail was lopsided, strands of hair had become loose, and her face was covered in smudges of soot.

Renji couldn't believe his eyes. _Shakkaho _and _Enkosen_, one after another so quickly? The girl never ceased to amaze him. It was brilliant; the hollow had been descending from above, its arms holding its weapon high above its head, which meant that its front had been completely exposed and vulnerable for a frontal attack. It had probably counted on the surprise factor and didn't expect its potential victim to seize that opening in such a short time; especially when the victim was a pint-sized shinigami.

"Did I get him?" Akari asked, patting her _shihakusho_ and sending small clouds of dust into the air around her.

Renji coughed and waved his arm in front of his face. "That was...awesome!" he said, not knowing what other word he could use to describe it. "You okay?"

"I've been practicing," Akari said with a shy smile, pink in the face from the praise from her vice captain. She silently thanked the layer of dirt covering her face; at least she didn't have to worry about being seen blushing.

Renji looked around them. "I could've sworn that you got him," he muttered with a frown. But there was no sign of the hollow, dead or alive.

"Damn," Akari said, stomping her feet on the ground in frustration. "I should've made the attack stronger."

"Don't be silly," Renji said, giving her a light tap on the head. "You did very well, Akari. Give yourself some credit."

Akari pursed her lips, annoyed at herself. Then her eyes caught a white piece of what looked like a rock on the ground a few feet behind Renji. It stood in stark contrast amongst the dark brick crumbs. On closer inspection, Akari saw that it was actually a flat piece of smooth...rock, for a lack of a better term.

"What are you looking at?" Renji bent down to crouch next to the girl. Akari dropped the rock in his palm. Renji rolled the rock in his hand, running his fingers across the smooth surface, and his eyes widened. "I think this is a piece of hollow mask," he said, bringing the fragment closer to his eyes. "The son of a bitch is injured."

Akari jumped to her feet and did another quick scan of their surroundings. "But where can it hide?"

Renji didn't answer her; he leaned closer to the ground and squinted his eyes, checking to see if there are other fragments of the mask. If they could get a better feel of the hollow's injury...

"Shit!"

At the same time as he heard the scream, Renji felt the wind leave his lungs in a whoosh as he was abruptly knocked aside. He skidded several feet before landing hard against a low wall. Through blurry vision, he made out the vague shape of Akari's back. The girl had her zanpakutou firmly held in her right hand, while her left hand was raised above her head; she had blocked another attack with an _Enkosen_. The dull yellow glow of the kido spell blinked out from her left hand as she darted aside to avoid a sweeping blow from a mid-sized hollow in front of her.

Looking back and forth between the hollow and the still form of her vice captain, Akari felt her heart sink into the pit of her stomach. _Open your eyes, please...open your eyes..._she screamed in her mind. Then, to her relief, Renji stirred. With renewed determination, she turned back to face the hollow with a growl of her own.

_Did she just save me?_ Renji thought groggily. His head throbbed with a dull ache where it had smashed into the wall, and he gingerly touched the wound. His hand came away slicked with blood. _Aww, crap_. Struggling to his feet, he reached for Zabimaru. Time for the 6th squad vice captain to get some action.

* * *

The hollow wasn't one of those large, dumb-looking beasts that usually prowled the world of the living. This was one of Aizen's prototypes, advanced hollows that were evolved to have shinigami powers. But just like prototypes of any kind, this hollow was far from perfect; it had a somewhat humanoid form but its arms were ridiculously long, and its face mask was cracked, revealing a mouth that was bleeding in one corner.

"I will make you pay for this," it hissed, baring its teeth like an angry beast. A pair of glowing red eyes locked on Akari as the hollow advanced towards her.

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" Renji hollered as he soared through the air from behind Akari.

"Abarai-fukutaicho!" Akari gasped. A loud clang of metal against metal reverberated around them as the hollow blocked Renji's blade with the hilt of its hammer-like weapon. The hollow reared back to prepare for another attack.

"Now!" Renji yelled as he jumped up into the air.

Akari took the opening and let loose another _Shakkaho_, which exploded in the hollow's face. With a wild howl of pain, the hollow backpedalled. Not allowing it room to recover, Akari shot another red ball of fire at the hollow, earning another loud screech from the creature.

She was so focused on this hollow that she didn't feel a shadow descend on her until Renji screamed a warning. Looking up with a start, she barely managed to throw herself backwards to escape a spear. Mustering her strength, she yelled, "_Bakudo no 39, Enkosen!_" The large, spinning disk of condensed spiritual pressure blocked several more stabs from the spear before the second attacking hollow was blasted out the way by Zabimaru in Shikai form.

"There's more than one!" Renji said, raising his voice to be heard over the ruckus.

Akari bit her tongue before she could say "no shit". Picking herself up from the ground, she grasped the hilt of her zanpakutou with both hands and got into a fighting stance. Then, with a battle cry, she leapt into the air.

* * *

"Renji!" Rukia cried out in alarm as she landed along with Ichigo. They sprinted towards the redhead, who was sitting among a field of debris with his back against a wall.

"I'm fine," Renji said, his chest heaving from exertion.

"Where's the girl?" Ichigo asked, looking around in a panic.

"Do you think I'd be sitting here on my ass if something had happened to her?" Renji demanded indignantly. A trickle of blood-stained sweat made its way down the side of his face and neck. "We got one, but the other one managed to get away." He pounded his fist on the ground in frustration.

Rukia hopped through a smashed window of a building nearby. The girl with the purple _obi_ was standing there with her back towards Rukia, staring dejectedly up at a hole in the roof.

"It got away," Akari said in a small voice.

Rukia patted her on the shoulder and smiled warmly at the girl. "Don't forget that you destroyed one," Rukia said.

Akari's face broke out in a grin, as if she had already forgotten about that. "That's true," she said.

Rukia gasped in alarm as her hand left Akari's shoulder covered in blood. "You're hurt!"

Akari's eyes widened and she looked down at her right arm in shock. In the rush of adrenaline, she hadn't even noticed the pain of the large, deep gash stretching from her shoulder down to her elbow. The sleeve of her _shihakusho_ was shredded and hung in strips, soaked in blood.

"Let's get you both back to Soul Society," Rukia said, frowning in concern.

Akari did not argue; her face had suddenly gone white at the sight of her own injury.

* * *

Akari touched her bandaged arm gingerly. It stung slightly, but the medic had done an excellent job at mending the wound. Her skin had even begun to knit before the bandage was applied.

_My first battle scar_, she thought with a smile, feeling her chest swell with pride. _Nii-san would've been proud_.

She wandered down the hallway, peeking into rooms along the way to see if Abarai-fukutaicho happened to be in one of them.

They had been rushed to the 4th division as soon as they got back, guided by Rukia. She heard from the medic who attended to her that her vice captain had suffered a bad concussion and would have to stay the night to be observed. Akari, on the other hand, had only cuts and bruises, which could be healed easily.

As she approached the next door, she heard familiar, murmured voices coming from it. Her skipped with joy as she recognized Abarai-fukutaicho's voice. She ran forward, then froze as she recognized another familiar voice. Flattening herself against the wall next to the doorway, she slowly crept nearer and peeked inside.

Abarai-fukutaicho was holding up a small, rectangular-shaped pouch in his hand. He was laughing and saying something to Hisagi-fukutaicho, who was sitting next to the bed. The redhead had a bandage around his head and his long mane draped across his broad shoulders and framed his face in a way she had never seen before. He seemed...softer, somehow, with the tattoos on his forehead concealed under the bandage and hair.

"You're right, this little thing does bring good luck," she heard her vice captain say.

"You should be ashamed that you need a lucky charm to get back here alive," Hisagi-fukutaicho chided. "How many times did you say you got knocked onto your ass?"

The next words were muffled, so she peeked her head out a little more to listen. Instead, she got an earful of lustful moans. Abarai-fukutaicho had apparently thought that kissing his lover was the best way to shut him up from berating him any further.

_Lucky charm?_ Akari's eyes narrowed indignantly. _What do you mean the stupid thing brought luck? _I _saved Abarai-fukutaicho!_

"I love you..." she heard the injured vice captain murmur.

Akari stopped listening at that point; her blood boiled with bitterness and disappointment. She had risked her life so many times for Abarai-fukutaicho during the fight, and what did she get in return? They think it's a freaking _lucky charm_ that kept him safe! What a joke! She felt tears sting her eyes as she walked off, and she clenched her fist, willing the tears to go away.

It was too bad that she left in such a hurry, because she would've felt differently had she heard the next words Hisagi-fukutaicho said.

"No, seriously, how many times did she save you, exactly?"

* * *

**To be continued...**

**Okay, how many of you thought that Renji would get seriously injured while saving her? ;) **

_**Sneak preview of the next chapter:**_  
_"I've had enough of this shit!"_


	13. Chapter 13

**_Previously on "A Test of Faith":_  
**_She had risked her life so many times for Abarai-fukutaicho during the fight, and what did she get in return?_**  
**

**Sooo sorry for the late update! I've been bitten by a case of writer's block...staring at software code all day long does no favor for my English vocab! (English is not my native language)**

**This chapter is extra long because I couldn't decide on a good point to break it up into a smaller chunk without making the chapter boring. So, without further ado, here's the 4K+ word chapter 13!**

* * *

**Chapter 13**

* * *

The next day, Akari was welcomed with fanfare when she entered the 6th squad combat training grounds. Amongst the first-years, she was now the only one who had been on a real mission. Sure, they've all experienced drills, which were designed to be as realistic as possible, but mock hollows and fellow team members just didn't cut it when it comes to thrill.

Nobody noticed how unnatural Akari's smile was, or how the smile would disappear every time nobody was looking at her. She was never a talkative person to begin with, so nobody thought it was out of the ordinary when she kept mostly silent besides the mandatory greeting and thank yous.

But not everyone was oblivious. Rikichi could immediately tell that something was bothering Akari, but given the awkwardness of their last encounter, he wasn't sure how to approach her. So he watched quietly, quickly averting his eyes every time Akari turned even remotely close to his direction.

When Akari finally went to a corner to sit by herself, Rikichi mustered up his courage and went up to her.

"Do you want to see my scar, too?" Akari asked wearily, rolling up her sleeve.

"No," Rikichi said, sitting down next to her. "Is something the matter?"

Akari was taken aback. Rikichi was the last person she would have expected to sense her mood. "Nothing," she mumbled. She glanced at Rikichi, who had an eyebrow cocked skeptically. "Oh, alright. I'm depressed, but I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"Oh," was all Rikichi said. The boy stared down at his own hands, which he had laid in his lap. After a long silence, he said softly, "Well, I'm glad you came back alright. I mean...alive...err...I mean..." His face turned a little pink trying to find the right words.

Akari snorted in amusement. "I know what you mean," she said with a ghost of a smile. "Thank you."

"Sometimes talking about things will make you feel a little better," Rikichi said, hoping that Akari would change her mind. He was partly worried, partly curious, and most of all, didn't like to see his crush looking so dejected and not doing anything about it. "I won't tell anyone," he added hastily, remembering how his big mouth had led to much interest in Abarai-fukutaicho's sex life.

"I know...and I still don't want to talk about it, okay? I'm trying to get over it," Akari said with an annoyed frown. "It's not a big deal."

Rikichi opened his mouth to protest, but before he could get any words out, a large hand landed on his shoulder with a smack.

"And look who's hiding in the corner being all anti-social?" a familiar deep voice said from behind. The hand moved to ruffle Rikichi's hair good-naturedly, and Renji sat down next to Rikichi with a big grin on his face. His smile faltered for a bit as he suddenly realized that he might have intruded on a private moment. "Err...you wouldn't be...err, in the middle of a confession, would you?"

Rikichi felt as if all the blood in his body had rushed up into his head; his ears burned in embarrassment. "No!" he said at once. "We're just friends!"

"Uh huh," Renji said, not even bothering to hide his skepticism. "Sure, I'm friends with Hisag-fukutaicho, too." He winked at Rikichi, who had somehow managed to turn even redder in the face.

"We're just hanging out," Akari said, not amused at all. She shot her vice captain a not-so-subtle glare, feeling her mood sinking a few more notches.

Rikichi could only take so much embarrassment. He jumped to his feet, muttered something about needing to look for a friend, and ran off, almost tripping over in his hurry.

Renji scratched his head and shrugged. "Don't be so harsh on him," he chided Akari, quite oblivious to the true reason of her less-than-friendly attitude towards him.

"What do you want?" Akari asked, trying hard to keep her voice even. Abarai-fukutaicho's playful, light-hearted manner was getting on her nerves. The fact that the man had somehow jumped to the conclusion that she and Rikichi were more than friends only served to piss her off even more.

Renji's face turned serious at her question. For a moment, Akari thought she saw a faint blush appear on the man's face, but it quickly passed. Looking at the ground, he said casually, "I never thanked you properly for saving my life yesterday."

Akari's eyes widened in surprise before narrowing again. "I thought it was Hisagi-fukutaicho's lucky charm that saved you," she blurted before she could stop herself. She immediately wished that she could take back those words, because that pretty much told him that she had eavesdropped on their conversation.

Now it was Renji's turn to widen his eyes, then he began to chuckle; softly at first, then it became loud, boisterous laughter. Akari looked at him, face burning in embarrassment. When he didn't stop laughing after a good minute, Akari pouted and punched him on the arm.

"Oh boy," Renji said, wiping the corner of his eyes. "Do you seriously think that I'd believe that? We were just fooling around, Akari. At least finish listening to the entire conversation before getting all upset, _baka_."

Akari couldn't help but grin. She felt like an idiot, but inside she was exhilarated. It was funny how a little acknowledgement could make such a big difference. "You're welcome," she said finally.

Renji reached out to ruffle her hair—he seemed to be really fond of that habit, then with a loud, dramatic sigh, he got onto his feet. "Not going to join the rest?" he asked, gesturing towards the group of members who were in the middle of practicing basic techniques of _hakuda_, the art of unarmed combat.

"I'll be there in a bit," Akari said, picking herself up and dusting her _shihakusho_.

"Well, have fun," Renji said and made a face, "Time for me to head back for some paperwork. You won't believe the amount of reports Kuchiki-taicho and I have to go through every day. One day when you become a seated officer, you'll get to enjoy that, heh!" With a casual wave, he turned around and strode across the training grounds to his office.

Akari stared after him, and another smile crept up her face. _One day when I become a seated officer..._

* * *

_Finally_, Renji thought as he scrawled his signature on the last form for the day. For once, the incoming paperwork section on his desk was blissfully empty. He glanced at the clock and groaned when he realized that there was another half an hour left till the end of the workday. Now, what should he do?

He walked out of the office to the hallway and looked out, taking the opportunity to take in a deep breath of fresh air. His office was on the second floor of the building, while the training grounds and practice halls of the 6th division were situated on the ground floor. To his surprise, the training area was not empty. A tiny figure appeared to be randomly delivering punches and kicks at something, then, as the figure darted around, Renji saw that the "victim" of that violence was a mannequin. The clumsy, out-of-sync moves of the fighter caused Renji to scoff out loud, but then he noticed the familiar purple _obi_. Akari? He thought in bewilderment. No wonder the girl was reluctant to join the rest during training earlier! So she did have a weakness, Renji thought in amusement.

Wow, she is terrible, he thought with a grimace. Granted, hand-to-hand combat was not as easy as it sounds; it required physical strength, but more importantly, an agile body and quick reflexes. Often times, speed and nimbleness could make up for the lack of brute strength for people with smaller stature, but unfortunately it wasn't the case for Akari. As Renji watched the girl from the balcony, he noticed that while she was fast, she seemed almost wary of making contact with the mannequin, her limbs slowing down slightly as they approached it, throwing off her rhythm as a result.

Renji descended the stairs and walked towards Akari, watching silently and shaking his head all the way. Well, at least she knew that she needed improvement. But without someone to give proper guidance, all the practice in the world would be moot.

"Abarai-fukutaicho!" Akari felt his presence and turned around in surprise. Her _shikahusho_ was soaked with sweat, and the hair that had come loose from her ponytail stuck to her face and neck in an almost-comical way.

"Why are you afraid of the mannequin? Are you worried that it would break?" Renji asked bluntly.

"I-I..." Akari stuttered, pink spots appearing on her cheeks.

"You're not going to hurt it, you know," Renji teased her as he gave the mannequin a powerful punch in the gut. "See?"

"I'm not worried about _it_," Akari rolled her eyes. After a pause, she added, a little shyly, "I...I'm afraid that I'd..."

Renji raised an eyebrow. "Afraid that you'd hurt yourself?" he guessed.

Feeling foolish, the girl nodded. "_Nii-san_ used to teach me _hakuda_ too when I was little. And one time...I think he misjudged his strength...and…he broke my arm. After that he stopped, and I sort of..." She trailed off.

"Ah," Renji said. "So you developed a phobia, afraid that you'd get hurt again." He looked at Akari. She seemed almost fragile like this, unlike her feisty self when she was doing things she was good at. "Well, if you want to move up the ranks and become a powerful officer," he said. "You'd have to overcome that fear."

"Of course I want to," Akari said at once. "It's just that I..."

"Too ashamed to ask for help?" Renji asked not-so-tactfully. Then he kicked himself when the girl's face abruptly reddened. "I'd be happy to coach you," he offered.

Akari's face lit up at the prospect of having such a skillful mentor, but then her heart sank as she realized what a bad idea that was. The last thing she needed was more time alone with her crush, the one man that she couldn't have.

"Here, let's start with the basics," Renji began, unaware of Akari's torn expression. Before she could protest, the redhead grabbed her right arm and positioned it straight and away from her body. Holding her elbow in place, he gently guided her palm to face forward. Satisfied that she had a somewhat correct pose, he got into the fighting stance himself and held his right arm forward like hers.

"Now, thrust your arm forward. Put your strength in it, but keep your muscles controlled...you don't want to hurt your elbow," he said, eyeing the girl as she tried to mimic his action. "Here, don't be scared, I won't let you get hurt."

Akari forgot to breathe when she felt the warmth of her vice captain's hands on hers. She was vaguely aware that he was telling her something, but what, she hadn't the faintest idea. Her heart raced as if she was sprinting for her life, and her mind went numb. Her hand moved obediently under his direction.

She watched as Renji place his palm over her hand and guided her to push her hand outwards. She instinctively wanted to pull back as her hand neared the mannequin, but his firm grip held her in place and maintained the speed of her movement. When her palm hit the mannequin with a firm thud, she winced, then realized with surprise that it hadn't hurt at all. She looked up and saw Renji smile down at her.

"See? Nothing to be afraid of," he said with an encouraging grin. "Now, let's do the same with the left arm..."

* * *

Shuuhei started to notice something curious. Renji had stopped bugging him about not spending enough time with him, and for the past few nights Shuuhei actually got off work earlier than Renji. At first, he didn't give it much thought; in fact he felt kind of relieved that he no longer had to feel guilty about neglecting Renji.

But after a few days, he found himself wondering what was keeping the redhead so occupied at work. Surely Kuchiki-taicho hadn't given him extra chores because Renji would've complained about it. You know that feeling you get when you say no to someone who offers you a candy, only to end up staring at the person longingly as he eats it? That was exactly what Shuuhei was feeling. He used to wish that Renji would stop bugging him about working too hard, but now he actually missed hearing Renji whine about it.

So he decided to see for himself. It's not spying, he told himself. What's wrong with showing a little interest in your lover's work life, right? There was nothing to it, he'd just take a quick peek, that's all. Renji won't even know that he was there.

Imagine his surprise when he arrived at the 6th division grounds to find Renji's office empty. He eyed the stack of papers tethering precariously at the corner of Renji's desk. Whatever the redhead was doing, it sure did not involve finishing his paperwork.

That's odd, he thought. Closing his eyes, he reached out with his senses to search for Renji's spiritual pressure. He was here, in the 6th division, somewhere where Shuuhei could not see him. And so the raven-haired vice captain wandered, using Renji's spiritual pressure to guide him to its owner's location.

The sight that greeted him at the combat training room caught him by surprise. Another personal coaching session? He thought, pressing himself into the wall and reigning in his own spiritual pressure. He couldn't explain it, but he suddenly felt like he didn't want Renji to see him. _Who am I kidding?_ Shuuhei thought unhappily. _I _am _spying on him._

Inside the combat hall, Renji was correcting Akari's posture, holding her shoulders with his large hands and pressing into them so that the girl's back straightened. "That's more like it," the redhead said with a smile of satisfaction. "Now, counter this." With that, he abruptly shot his hand forward, straight into Akari's face. The girl immediately bent her body backwards to dodge the blow, then with a clever twist of her body, she reached under her vice captain's outstretched arm and thrust her arm forward, hitting Renji squarely in the ribs.

"Good!" Without even a pause, Renji flipped his body and lashed out with his leg. With a yell, Akari jumped, barely avoiding the hit. "Too slow, too slow!" Renji bellowed, following up with a swing of his arm. This time Akari could not react fast enough and with a surprised "oof!", she flew a few feet away and landed on the floor in a heap.

"Shit!" Renji was immediately by her side. "Are you okay?"

Akari wiped her brow and stood up on wobbly legs. "Yeah, I'm okay," she gasped, bending over slightly and holding her knees to support herself, "But I think I'm done for the day, Abarai-fukutaicho."

"Alright," the redhead said and reached out his hand to ruffle her hair. "Take care of yourself, see you tomorrow."

As Renji's footsteps came towards the door, Shuuhei sucked in a breath and looked around in a panic. Renji was coming out from the hall and he would be busted! Somehow he didn't think Renji would appreciate him spying on him like this.

Then, the footsteps stopped, and he heard Renji say, "Oh, and sorry about that!" He didn't stay to hear the rest; he took the opportunity to leap up to the roof and flash-stepped away.

* * *

When Renji arrived back in his quarters, all sweaty and aching from the workout, he was surprised to see Shuuhei sitting on the sofa, apparently waiting for him.

"Hey," he greeted his dark-haired lover with a big smile. "Miss me?"

Shuuhei snorted, feigning disgust at Renji's narcissistic remark. He wanted badly to ask him about his...work, but he couldn't think of a way to ask without giving away the fact that he had secretly snuck into the 6th division. In the end, he decided to just comment casually, "Looks like you can't complain that I work late now."

Renji chuckled and began to undress for his shower. Shuuhei couldn't help but look at the man, greedily taking in every inch of bare skin; the toned lines of his arms, expansive chest...he loved everything on that man's body. He imagined that a lot of other people did, too. He wondered if the girl did. As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he mentally kicked himself. What was he thinking! That was exactly what she was: a girl…so young that she was probably, what, not even one fifth of Renji's age? _Are you jealous of a little girl?_ Shuuhei's inner voice asked. He paused to ponder the question. Was he?

"So, what'd you stay late for?" Shuuhei asked, hoping that he sounded indifferent.

"Oh, the usual," Renji said, kicking off his hakama. "You know, paperwork and shit." He took off his hair tie and let his long hair fall free onto his shoulders, and disappeared into the bathroom. Sounds of rushing water from the sink filled the room.

Shuuhei's heart sank. So Renji wasn't going to tell him about those after-hour lessons? That meant he—

"I said, did you know that Akari sucks at _hakuda_?" Renji peeked his head out from the bathroom. "Hello? Were you listening to me?"

"Huh?" Shuuhei looked up with a startle. "Oh, sorry. I, uhh, kind of spaced out." He couldn't help smiling a bit. So Renji _was_ going to tell him after all.

Renji's laughter rang from the bathroom. "Makes me feel better about sucking at _kido_, you know?" the redhead called out.

"So is that why you've been staying late? Training her?" Shuuhei asked, raising his voice to be heard.

"Mmmph?" Renji peeked his head out again, a toothbrush sticking out from his mouth. He curled a finger at Shuuhei with a "come hither" look. When Shuuhei stood in front of him, the redhead grinned slyly at him. "Instead of trying to have such a loud conversation, why don't we just have it in here?" He sniffed Shuuhei's hair. "Have you showered already?"

Shuuhei poked the redhead in the ribs. "Yes," he said, then wrinkled his nose. "God, you stink!" That earned him a splash of water in the face, and he yelped in protest. Before he could dodge the next splash, he found himself dragged into the shower. Ignoring Shuuhei's yells, Renji turned on the shower and the dark-haired man instantly became soaked.

Shuuhei opened his mouth to scold Renji, but before he could utter a word, he found himself pushed against the tiled wall. A pair of warm, wet lips crushed his, silencing him. His eyes fluttered in surprise, then he smiled into the kiss and closed his eyes. Fine, he could use a second shower...

* * *

The sound of rushing water could not mask the pants and lustful moans echoing in the small bathroom. Shuuhei's clothes had long been stripped off, tossed on the floor carelessly. He was on his feet, bent over, his palms flat against the wall for support. His body shook and swayed in time with Renji's thrusts, and he couldn't stop moaning his lover's name over and over again as if it was the only word he knew. All the questions about Akari that he had wanted to ask were temporarily forgotten; his body knowing only the pleasure that Renji was giving him.

Renji tightened his grip on Shuuhei's grip and snapped his hips, burying himself into the dark-haired man. He hissed with pleasure, eyes glazed over with desire. The way the water ran in rivulets down his lover's back sent shivers down to his groin. He groaned, unable to contain himself. He was close...very close...he bent over slightly and reached under Shuuhei to stroke the man's swollen arousal.

Shuuhei's legs nearly gave out when he felt Renji's palm on his erection. Renji's hand was slick with soap and water, and his fingers glided easily over Shuuhei's flesh. Shuuhei felt a familiar tightening at the pit of his stomach, and he knew he was at his limit.

"Renji—" he cried out hoarsely.

Renji recognized the sign, and began to thrust deeper. Almost immediately, he felt a warm gush on his fist, the stickiness washed away quickly by the falling water. He followed soon after, grunting as he came deep within his lover.

Then came the part he loved the most about having sex in the shower. Turning Shuuhei around, Renji gently rubbed soap over his body, washing away sweat and semen. He loved the way Shuuhei closed his eyes and relaxed under his touch. He leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on Shuuhei's lips, and felt the man smile.

"Come on, we should dry ourselves, I'm beginning to feel like a raisin," Shuuhei said, running his wrinkled fingers over Renji's bicep. "We can take round two to the bed," he added with a wink.

* * *

"I have a question," Shuuhei said. He had his fingers laced behind his head. They were both on their backs on the bed. Well, more like question_s_. They'd had been bugging him the entire night. He had almost forgotten about it, but now that the high from their lovemaking was dissipating, the questions came back to haunt him.

"Mmm?" Renji murmured, feeling a little sleepy already.

Shuuhei paused to choose his words carefully; the last thing he wanted to do was to come off sounding accusatory. "I've been thinking...have you noticed anything weird about Akari?"

Renji turned to look at him, puzzlement clear on his features. "Weird?"

"You know, nervous, panicky...awkward," Shuuhei said. "Things like that."

"Mmm...can't say I have," Renji replied, looking up at the ceiling as he pondered the question. "Why?"

"I dunno," Shuuhei said, then sighed. "Well, no, I _do_ know. But...I don't know how to ask this in a nice way."

Renji shifted his body to lie on his side, facing Shuuhei. "Come on, just spit it out."

Shuuhei stared at the ceiling, feeling a little apprehensive about what he was about to say. "Well...I feel like...I mean, don't you think you're spending a bit too much time alone with the girl?"

Renji's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You mean those lessons?" he asked with a hint of amusement.

"Well, yeah...first it was _zanjutsu_, now it's _hakuda_...then of all people in the 6th division, you picked _her_ to go on that mission with you," Shuuhei said. Now that he started on it, he couldn't help blurting out everything that had been bothering him. "Don't get me wrong, it's nice of you to coach her, but given how she feels about you—"

"What do you mean?" Renji asked, confused. "How does she feel about me?"

Shuuhei gave him a look. "Are you blind?"

"Huh? Wait, tell me, what do you mean how she feels about me?" Renji asked, still clueless. He had grown up with a girl after all, so being close to one was nothing out of the ordinary to him.

"She likes you!" Shuuhei burst out. "You should've seen the way she looked at you just now—" His voice faltered as he realized what he had just said.

Renji's eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?"

Shuuhei felt his cheeks flush. _Crap_. He glanced at Renji and quickly averted his eyes.

"Did you _spy_ on me?" Renji hissed.

"I just happened to be looking for you," Shuuhei said lamely.

"Right," Renji said stiffly. "And you obviously saw me. Then what, you decided that you weren't looking for me after all?"

Shuuhei cringed. It was beginning to look like things were turning ugly. "I..." he stammered, but didn't know what more he could say to explain himself. It was the truth; he _was_ checking up on Renji.

"I was just curious to know what was keeping you busy at work," Shuuhei said, deciding to be honest. "So I went to look for you...and...then I saw you with her. And now I'm worried."

"You could've just asked me, Shuuhei!" Renji said indignantly, raising his voice. This was unbelievable. He felt hurt and angry, and at that moment anger dominated his mind. "She's just my subordinate!"

"I know she's your subordinate! I'm not saying that you have a thing for her," Shuuhei said defensively. "I'm saying that _she_ has a thing for you, and I don't think that you should spend so much time alone with her!"

"So now you're going to dictate whom I hang out with?" Renji demanded. "Have I ever checked on you when you stayed late at work? You work all the time and I never thought of questioning you, I have absolute trust for you, but apparently you don't trust me!"

Shuuhei felt a stab of panic. How did it come to this? "Renji, I..."

"Well? How else can you explain why you were at my division just now?" Renji asked. He clenched his fist to reign in his rising anger.

By now both of them were on their feet, facing each other; Renji with his crimson hair loose around his face, making him look even fiercer, Shuuhei standing stiffly, torn between placating Renji and justifying his own actions.

"I used to ask you to spend more time with me, but you wouldn't, you decided that your work was more important. I don't like it, but I respect you and let you be," Renji continued, his voice icy. "And now that I've found something to keep myself busy, you decide that you don't like it and you expect me to just stop! How is that fair, Shuuhei?"

"But I was doing real work!" Shuuhei said.

"And I'm not?" Renji asked, narrowing his eyes. "I'm coaching a member of my division, how is that not _real work_?"

"It might be just work for you but it's not for her!" Shuuhei yelled in exasperation. Why didn't Renji get it? This wasn't about _him!_

"You don't even know if that's a fact!" Renji raised his voice, baring his teeth. "Yet you question me, not just my work, and also my loyalty to you!" His voice went hoarse at the last part. He breathed heavily as his words echoed around the room.

"Renji, please..." Shuuhei looked pained. How was he supposed to convince the redhead that he wasn't doubting his loyalty when he _had_ indeed checked on him secretly? He wasn't worried about Renji, he was just troubled by the girl!

"I've had enough of this shit!" Renji said loudly, his voice trembled from emotion. "You were the one who told me that our time is precious, but you always place your duty before me. I've come to accept that, even though it hurts. Yet you don't give me that same respect, hell, you don't even fucking trust me!"

"Renji, listen to me!" Shuuhei yelled, frustration leading him to raise his voice several notches higher. "I trust you, it's just that—"

"If you trust me, why did you spy on me?" Renji practically shouted.

"It's _Akari_ that I don't trust—"

"What did she ever do to you?" The redhead asked, flinging his arms in frustration. "She saved my life, but instead of thanking her, you think she has ulterior motives?"

"Oh, great, now you're defending her?"

"You're un-fucking-believable!" With a growl, Renji grabbed Zabimaru from its stand and flung open the door. He turned around and spat,"Have a good night!" The door slammed shut, shaking the walls, then he was gone.

Shuuhei stared at the door, lips trembling from anger and defeat. He blinked furiously in an effort to make the tears go away, but they still ended up sliding down his face. Clenching his fists, he turned around and kicked one of the chairs over, needing something to vent his emotions.

* * *

Next door, Rikichi quivered in fear under the sheets. The spiritual pressure from the two vice captains was overwhelming when they fought; at one point he even fell to his knees and had to struggle to breathe.

Was it true, what Hisagi-fukutaicho said? Rikichi thought as he clasped his hands over his ears. _Akari...?_

* * *

**To be continued...**_  
_

_**Sneak preview of the next chapter:  
**"Why do you always stick your nose in our business?" he asked in exasperation._


	14. Chapter 14

**_Previously on "A Test of Faith":_  
**_"You're un-fucking-believable!" With a growl, Renji grabbed Zabimaru from its stand and flung open the door. He turned around and spat,"Have a good night!" The door slammed shut, shaking the walls, then he was gone._**  
**

**Phew, here's another giant of a chapter! ^.^**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

* * *

Kuchiki Byakuya shot another glare at his vice captain in exasperation. How many times must the man yawn, and why did he have to do it so loudly? He looked ridiculously messy too; his hair was up in a ponytail but stray strands hung limply around his face without the bandana that usually held them in place, his _shihakusho_ seemed strangely rumpled and tight, and those dark circles...

"Are you feeling ill, Abarai?" Byakuya finally asked when the redhead yawned again.

Renji blinked and wiped away the tears that had gathered at the corners of his eyes from yawning so much. "Sorry, taicho," he muttered, twisting his neck around to loosen the tight muscles. "Didn't sleep well last night." The truth was, he hadn't slept a wink. After leaving Shuuhei in his room, he had gone to his office to spend the night, seeing that he had nowhere else to go. Sure, he could've gone to Ikkaku's, or even Matsumoto's, but then he'd have to do a whole lot of explaining. He really wasn't in the mood to talk at all. Even so, since he had been wearing his sleeping kimono when he stormed out, he had to go to Ikkaku's anyway, to borrow one of his.

The puzzled look on Ikkaku's face would've been funny if Renji hadn't been in such a foul mood. Luckily for Renji, the bald man wasn't the type to pry so he managed to borrow a spare _shihakusho_ without much trouble. But, Ikkaku being just a tad shorter and skinnier than the redhead, the borrowed clothes were a bit of a tight squeeze. Feeling self-conscious and uncomfortable, Renji couldn't help fidgeting the whole morning. That, coupled with his tousled appearance and excessive amount of yawning, nearly drove Byakuya mad.

The tenth yawn was the final straw. With an annoyed noise that could almost be described as a grunt—but _grunting_ was so unbecoming for a noble—Byakuya put down his brush and looked at his vice captain. "You're dismissed, Abarai-fukutaicho," he said cooly. "You are clearly not fit for duty today."

"Wha—" Renji sat up with a start. "I'm sorry, taicho! I'm fine, I just—" He clamped his mouth shut when his captain narrowed his eyes dangerously. He knew that look; it was the do-it-now-or-you-shall-face-the-wrath-of-Senbonzakura look. With a resigned sigh, he pushed his chair away from the desk and stood up.

"I'm sorry, taicho," the redhead said quietly before stepping out of the office, his shoulders hunched.

Byakuya stared after his vice captain. The man was usually so feisty and energetic to the point of being hyperactive, so this was highly unusual. Whatever it was, it had better not drag on for too long, otherwise he would have to do something about it, and Byakuya loathe to meddle in his colleague's private lives, _especially_ Abarai Renji's.

* * *

With a frustrated sigh, Renji buried his face in his hands. He sat under a tree at the edge of the 6th division grounds, head between his knees, feeling miserable. When he tried to sleep at his desk last night, the argument he had with Shuuhei kept replaying in his mind, each iteration making him feel worse than the last. _I've had enough of this shit!_ Did he have to say that? What if Shuuhei took it to mean that he wanted to leave for good?

At the same time, he simmered in the indignity from being spied on. What was left between two lovers if there was no trust? Had he not shown Shuuhei how much he loved him? So what if Akari had feelings for Renji? It wasn't like Renji would act on it. She was just a little girl, for god's sake! Well, sure, he shouldn't lead her on, but the girl hadn't done anything to show Renji that she liked him, so wouldn't it be strange for him to suddenly stop being around her? He was a straightforward person, but even _he_ would not ask a girl outright whether she had feelings for him! He wondered how he would go about it; _hey, do you like me?_ He snorted at the idea.

"What's so funny?" Renji nearly toppled over from his position when a feminine voice suddenly rang beside him.

Straightening up in a hurry, he looked up to see the very person he really did not want to see at the moment. Akari stood there, a bento in her hand, looking at Renji with a curious look.

"Did I scare you?" she asked with a cheeky smile. When she saw the sombre look on her vice captain's face, her smile faltered. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing," Renji said hastily, feeling a bit embarrassed to be seen by a subordinate looking so rumpled. He slicked his hair back and redid his ponytail in an attempt to look slightly more presentable. Akari felt a little uncertain, but sat down in front of him anyway.

"Are you okay?" she asked in concern, then felt foolish for the asking a stupid question. Of course he wasn't okay. She was reminded of the night she first went to Rikichi's quarters to catch him in action with Hisagi-fukutaicho; his eyes had had the same look then. She sniffed the air, but found no scent of alcohol. Good, at least he's sober.

"Here," she said, opening her bento and offering it to Renji. "Would you like to have some _onigiri_? They're fresh, I just made them this morning."

Renji eyed the food and swallowed. He was hungry, and the food looked really tempting...then his hand was suddenly tugged forward and he felt the weight of an _onigiri_ being pressed firmly into his palm.

"Eat," Akari commanded.

The redhead hesitated for a few more seconds, then he brought the rice ball to his mouth. It was good, he thought as he took a bite and chewed.

Akari remembered how he had been alone that night when he'd looked like that. "Did you have a fight with Hisagi-fukutaicho?" Akari guessed, watching her vice captain's face for a reaction. His eyes widened in surprise.

_Bingo_.

Renji struggled to swallow the bite of rice that suddenly seemed too big in his mouth. He held up his palm to signal for Akari to wait. Then, he said, "Did Rikichi tell you or something?" If Rikichi could hear them having sex, he'd have to be deaf not to hear their screaming match last night.

Akari shook her head. "I can tell," she said softly.

What's this "_I can tell_" business? First Shuuhei could apparently tell that the girl had a thing for him, and now Akari could tell that he had a row with Shuuhei? What were they, freaking psychics? He grunted, which Akari took as a yes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" the girl asked gently. She was kind of afraid to know, because she was sure that she'd feel really uncomfortable hearing about her vice captain's relationship issues. Can she remain neutral and help the man, or simply make things worse? Either way, she couldn't stop herself from offering, because she couldn't bear seeing him like this.

"I..." Renji paused. If Shuuhei was right and Akari did have feelings for him, this would be highly improper...yet, all he saw in her eyes was sincerity and concern, and he really needed to talk to someone. With Rukia in Karakura town, he didn't have anyone else to go to. Ikkaku would be bored to death in two seconds and would probably kick his ass for being all soppy and emotional like that, going to Yumichika...well, he might as well just publish it in the Seireitei Communication magazine, and Matsumoto would probably just get him drunk, and Kira...the man already looked depressed enough. So, yeah, he really had no one to turn to, and he wasn't the type of person who could live with his feelings all pent up.

"Well..." he began. He scratched his head. Well, he couldn't very well tell her that _she_ was the source of their fight, could he? "It's kind of complicated," he said finally.

"Oh," Akari said. She fiddled with the grass at her feet. "How so?"

Renji looked towards the sky. "Well, I don't know if you know...but Shuuhei has the tendency to...I mean, he's a workaholic, you know?" When Akari nodded, he went on. "We don't really get a lot of time to spend together. I whine about it but...I know it's just how he is. His life is about justice, about his duty, about Gotei 13, and I respect that, you know? It's a part of him...I just wish that he'd give me the same respect."

Akari nodded, unsure how to respond. What he said was deep, yet so very vague. What on earth did Hisagi-fukutaicho do to make Abarai-fukutaicho feel disrespected? It sounded like the 9th division vice captain was being a little hypocritical, if she understood it correctly.

Renji didn't seem to mind that his audience was silent. "And I can't believe that he doesn't trust me," he continued. There was so much sadness in his voice that Akari felt a pinch in her heart. She wanted so much to reach out and touch his face, to make that sadness go away. "But then again, I said some things that I shouldn't have," he added.

Renji stopped after that. There wasn't anything else he could say without going into specifics. That pretty much summed up his thoughts anyway. "It just isn't fair," he whispered without realizing that he had said it out loud.

Akari heard, and sighed. "Sometimes," she said slowly. "Life isn't about fairness. It's just...whether you think the price is worth it." She thought of her brother; how it was so unfair that he was taken away at such a young age when he had so much to offer to the world. He had accepted his fate, and instead of cursing his luck, he had transferred his passion to her. He probably could've lived a bit longer if he had not insisted on continuing to train her and encourage her to pursue her—their—dream, but he was content with what he chose to do.

Renji was taken aback at the maturity in the girl's words. He paused to ponder what she'd said. _"I won't survive the war, Renji, I know it. I don't want to drag you into an emotional investment only to have your heart broken." _Shuuhei's words from a while back rang in his ear. _"But we're here now. Why should we suffer now when this could be our final moments in life?"_ Renji had replied then.

It wasn't fair that they had so little time to be together, he thought bitterly. It wasn't fair that they might both die—or worse, _one_ of them dies—but they had decided that they would embrace what they were given. It wasn't fair, yet they'd accepted it; death and potential heartbreak be damned.

But unfair to the point that Shuuhei wouldn't let him do what Shuuhei does himself? Renji wasn't sure how he should feel about that. His first reaction had been to be enraged, but now that he thought about it...was Shuuhei really that angry about Renji staying late? No, he realized suddenly. Their fight wasn't so much about Shuuhei not liking the fact that he worked late; it was _what_ Renji was doing when he works late that made Shuuhei upset. Sure, he was an asshole to spy on Renji, and Renji had every right to be angry about that, but that was just a sign of Shuuhei's insecurity...was it not?

Renji buried his face in his hands. He could think of a thousand reasons to justify Shuuhei's actions, and now he didn't know if he should feel angry towards the man or not. He imagined himself being in Shuuhei's shoes. Renji worked under a captain who loved him, and now he was spending hours after work to train someone who had feelings for him—at least Shuuhei firmly believed it so. It must really suck for Shuuhei, he thought, eyes widening in realization. He had just never given it much thought, never thought of what things looked like from Shuuhei's perspective.

With a frustrated growl, he sank his head further between his knees. Akari looked at him sadly, then she said, "I don't know what really happened, but it sounds like you both need some reassurance from each other." She hesitated before adding, "You know, sometimes the smallest things can mean a lot."

Renji looked up. "What do you mean?"

"My father used to do this little thing that makes my mother smile in a way nobody else could. She had always been a little sickly, but she loved flowers. We had a beautiful garden but she couldn't really visit it often, so my father would bring her a flower and place it next to her pillow every morning." Akari recalled. "It meant the world to my mother. Even after she died, my father still brings a flower to her grave every day."

Renji smiled at the story. It was sweet, but it was...how should he put it...a little out of character for him. Abarai Renji—loud, rugged, testosterone-filled—and flowers... Renji snorted out loud at the sudden mental image despite his bad mood.

"It doesn't _have_ to be flowers!" Akari said, hands on her hips. For a moment, her bossy, almost-motherly manner reminded Renji of Rukia, and he shook his head. _Shuuhei, Shuuhei, why would you think a girl like this would have a thing for me?_

The truth was, Akari was struggling to keep up her front. She wanted nothing more than to take the redhead in her arms and hug his sadness away. She wished that she could to go up to Hisagi-fukutaicho and demand to know what the hell he did to her vice captain.

The irony of the situation was driving her insane. Here she was, giving relationship advice to the very man she wanted for herself. She didn't know whether to pity herself for having to go through this pain, or to feel proud of herself for managing to be an objective listener thus far.

"Can't you think of anything? Make him something perhaps? He made you a bandana last time, right?" Akari prodded. "Maybe you can do something like that?"

"Me? Sewing?" Renji pointed at himself, looking incredulous.

"He wears jewelry, right? Maybe make him one of those chokers?" Akari suggested, referring to the choker and armbands that Hisagi-fukutaicho sported around his neck and biceps.

"Nah, those aren't ornaments," Renji said. In fact, those deceptively-innocent looking "jewelry" were actually explosives. He frowned and searched his brain desperately. Handicraft just didn't go well with him, he'd sooner make a complete fool of himself before getting anything productive out of it. Then his eyes widened slightly as he remembered something. "He has this really nice sleeping kimono that was, uhh...ripped by accident," he said, preferring not to elaborate on the accident. "But...I dunno...is this really going to work?" He looked skeptical.

"Trust me," Akari said with a firm nod. "I'm sure he would appreciate your effort, even if it doesn't look that great," she added, much to Renji's chagrin.

Renji scowled. "If you say so," he said grudgingly.

* * *

On the other side of Seireitei, Shuuhei sat at his desk, massaging his temples in an attempt to soothe his throbbing headache. It was useless; his head continued to pound in time with his heart beat, making him feel nauseous. A cup of tea sat forgotten by his right hand, long gone cold from neglect.

A soft knock startled the man, causing him to flinch in surprise. The teacup tipped over, and the few pieces of paper close to it were instantly soaked with the greenish liquid. Swearing under his breath, Shuuhei stood up to pick up the mess. At the same time, he called out for the visitor to enter.

"What happened?"

Shuuhei recognized the familiar voice of his best friend, Kira Izuru. The blonde 3rd squad vice captain strode across the room to grab a piece of cloth to wipe up the spilled tea.

As Kira let the cloth soak up the liquid, his eyes flicked to his friend's face. The man's tired, slightly-swollen eyes immediately caught his attention.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Kira asked, his voice heavy with concern.

"Nothing," Shuuhei said, laying the damp paper by the window sill to air them out. He sighed inside; there was no way his best friend would let him get away with this answer.

Kira said nothing. He folded his arms across his chest and waited.

"Really, everything's fine," Shuuhei insisted, but he kept his gaze away from Kira's face, knowing that he won't be able to hide his emotions from Kira's sharp eyes.

"Hisagi-kun," Kira said with a frown. Why did they have to go through this every time? Shuuhei was a lousy liar and the man clearly knew it himself, yet he still lied blatantly as if Kira was a fool.

With a loud sigh, Shuuhei sat down heavily in his chair and threw his hands in the air. "What do you want me to say?" he asked in an annoyed tone.

Kira let out a sigh of his own. "You guys had a fight," he said, more of a statement than a question.

Shuuhei groaned. "Why do you always stick your nose in our business?" he asked in exasperation. He knew Kira only wanted to help, but for god's sake couldn't the man see that he didn't want to talk about it?

The blond-haired man didn't take offense. "Because you're always so bad at handling problems like this," he said simply.

"Oh, please," Shuuhei grunted.

"Why do you always keep things bottled up?" Kira asked in irritation. "Is it so hard to let your best friend help you?"

Shuuhei bristled at Kira's question. "Because I can't afford to walk around with my emotions on my sleeves, that's why! Morale in this division is already low enough, they don't need a leader who can't keep himself together!"

Kira lifted his eyebrows and looked at his friend calmly. "So watching you mope around is supposed to make them feel better?" he asked dryly.

Shuuhei smacked his palm on his desk. "Damn you, Kira! Yes, we had a fight, are you happy now? Can't you just get off my back for once?" he yelled.

Kira sighed and unfolded his arms. His features softened and he leaned forward to face his friend. "Hisagi-san," he said gently. "Do you remember how long it took for you two to finally acknowledge your feelings for each other? Do you remember how miserable you were before, trying to keep your feelings from him? Because _I_ remember. I remember how heartbroken he was when he thought you weren't going to make it, and I remember how heartbroken _you_ were when you thought he was dead, too."

Shuuhei breathed heavily and stared at his blonde friend. How could he possibly forget all that? "What's your point?" he asked wearily.

"My point is," Kira said slowly. "My point is to remind you that the two of you mean the world to each other. I don't know what you guys fought about, but I can sense that it's serious...very serious. You know as well as I do that sitting here alone simmering in your emotions is not going to solve anything."

Shuuhei grunted and looked away, then, he leaned forward and held his head in his hands with his elbows propped on the table. For a moment the room was silent except for the soft fluttering sound of paper being tickled by a breeze. Kira kept his gaze on his friend and felt a pang of sadness. The last time Kira saw Shuuhei in such a state was back when Shuuhei was struggling with his feelings for the redhead.

"You can talk to me," Kira said softly, kneeling down in front of his friend. "I may not be able to _do_ anything, but I can at least help you get that weight off your chest."

Shuuhei's shoulders trembled as he fought to reign in his feelings. _Damn you, Kira_, he thought, feeling the painful tightness in his chest again.

"I..." he said, his voice breaking. "I messed up, Kira. I really messed up this time." Then, like a dam that had overflowed, he poured everything out to his friend, who simply kept quiet and listened; how he had felt jealous and insecure, and how he had resorted to spying on Renji, and eventually, how they had ended up parting in anger.

Kira gave Shuuhei's arm a reassuring squeeze. He sighed inside. Neither of them were completely right or wrong in this; both had done things that had hurt the other.

"I feel so insecure, Kira..." Shuuhei said in a small voice. "I felt so insecure that I...why didn't I just ask him? Why?" His voice cracked. "Now he thinks that I don't trust him and I don't know what to do to convince him that I do."

"Hisagi-kun," Kira said. "We both know what Abarai-kun is like. Once he calms down, he will realize that he has wronged you too. So why don't you go and find him, see if you guys can talk it out?"

Shuuhei looked up. "You really think so?" he asked, feeling a little hopeful.

"I know so," Kira said firmly.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**So, lemme know what you think! ^.^  
****Oh, and i****n case anyone's wondering, the backstory of how Renji and Shuuhei got together is in "_Till Death Do Us Part_". ;)**

******__****Sneak preview of the next chapter:  
**_"How could you..." His voice broke, as did his heart._


	15. Chapter 15

**_Previously on "A Test of Faith":_  
**_"Sometimes," she said slowly. "Life isn't about fairness. It's just...whether you think the price is worth it."_**  
**

**A big thank you ****to all of you who have been following the story. I especially want to give a shout out to Cuzosu, Nila101, Cole-Hyuuga, Eva Galana, BarbaritaS, and noname12321 for leaving comments! All your comments and reviews are precious to me and keep me motivated, so thank you thank you thank you!**

**Here's another giant chapter!**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

* * *

It was now the day after Kira asked him to talk to the redhead, but Shuuhei had decided to wait for a day to allow more time for both of them to calm down. He waited till after official work hours, and had fully expected Renji to be back in his quarters. Surely after their argument, the man would not continue his coaching lessons with Akari, right? After all, they had had such a bad fight over that, and if Renji could simply go on as if nothing had happened, it would mean...

His heart sank a notch when he arrived to find Renji's quarters dark and empty. Shuuhei closed his eyes and focused on searching for Renji's spiritual pressure. There, he found it—right at the very edge of Seireitei, where he had gone to vent out his anger after their last fight. He clenched his fists in nervousness, then flash-stepped to the Renji's location.

* * *

"Fuck, I give up on this!" Renji threw up his hands after pricking his finger for the fifth time that afternoon from just trying to thread a needle. Why did they have to make the needle so fucking small? His hands were made for holding swords and fighting, not for dainty, prickly little bastards like these.

Akari stifled a giggle, not wanting to infuriate the red-haired vice captain any further. They were sitting at the same clearing where Renji had gave her a little bit of _zanjutsu_ advice, except now they had a light teal, flowy silk kimono across both their laps. The fabric was ripped along the seams on one of the sleeves, all the way down the side of the kimono. Akari could guess how this happened, but decided that she would rather pass on the specifics.

She took the needle away from her extremely frustrated vice captain before he could stab himself to death with it, threaded it, tied a small knot at the end of the thread, then handed the needle back. Renji stared at the needle in disbelief. How did she do it so quickly?

"Here," Akari held up a small piece of fabric, which she had brought for practice purposes. She folded the fabric and ran her finger along the side. "Imagine this is where you need to reattach the seam. Now, you'd want to poke the needle through here..." A howl immediately followed. "No! Don't put your finger underneath that part of course!"

Renji hissed as he flung his arms in an attempt to soothe the pain from the needle stab. Cuts from Senbonzakura he could handle, but this fucking needle...He gripped the practice fabric with renewed determination. Abarai Renji, vice captain of 6th division of Gotei 13, would _not_ be defeated by a 2-inch stick of metal!

"You're bleeding," Akari gasped as Renji's finger stained the little piece of fabric. Renji growled in annoyance and stuck his wounded finger into his mouth to suck on it. Akari giggled at his fierce expression; it was hilarious to see this large, muscular man being rendered helpless by this.

As Renji cursed under his breath and nursed his finger—it felt as though he had stabbed himself to the bone judging from the pain—Akari ran her fingers over the silk kimono. It felt divine; she had never felt something so soft in her life. She touched the tear in the fabric; it looked like someone had ripped it, and she could think of plenty of scenarios how it got ripped. The image of her vice captain tearing the kimono off of Hisagi-fukutaicho disturbed her. He must've been flushed in the face, probably his hair was down. Would he be in a kimono too or would he be naked? Were they lying on the bed? What had Hisagi-fukutaicho looked like? She shook her head to snap herself out of that train of thought. It was already hard enough to be here to support the man she loved to in his relationship issues, she really did not need to get herself emotionally involved in it.

"Are you okay? It can't be that serious," she said with a roll of her eyes as Renji continued muttering curses and sucking his finger. "Let me see that." She reached over and grabbed Renji's hand and pulled it towards her. There was a tiny red dot in the middle of his index finger. "You're such a big baby," she chided her vice captain, but she couldn't help giggling out loud when he scowled.

* * *

Shuuhei navigated carefully through thick vegetation as he moved towards the clearing where he had found Renji last time. Renji is training, he told himself. He's just training, venting his anger, why else would he be here, right? He's not having a training lesson with Akari. Yes, he must be just out here by himself, training with Zabimaru, that's all. Shuuhei kept repeating this over and over in his head, reassuring himself.

When he finally parted the last bit of tall grass separating him from the clearing, his mind went blank as he took in the sight that greeted him. There they were, sitting side-by-side in the shaded area in the clearing; the girl holding the redhead's hand and examining his finger, giggling as she did so, while Renji had a grimace on his face. The girl said something—Shuuhei was too far to make out the words—and Renji scowled, pulling his hand away.

Shuuhei desperately wanted to tear his eyes away from the scene but his body defied him. They looked like a happy couple, laughing and talking softly, their heads together looking at something in their laps. The girl was clearly guiding Renji to do _something_, and Shuuhei watched numbly as the redhead nodded and followed her instructions. His heart sank, and sank, until it hit the pit of his stomach and he couldn't handle it anymore. His legs gave out, and he stumbled forward and crashed through the foliage into plain sight.

Renji was instantly on his feet, dropping whatever he had in his hands. His eyes went wide in shock as he locked eyes with the raven-haired man standing several feet away. The hurt in Shuuhei's eyes was clear even across the distance. The man's fists were clenched tight and held closely against his body, his chest heaving as if he was struggling to breath.

Renji stepped forward to explain, because obviously the man had thought the worst given his reaction. But before he could take the second step, Shuuhei stepped back, eyes staring at Renji as if he were a stranger.

"How could you..." Shuuhei's voice broke, as did his heart.

"Shuuhei, this isn't what you think—" Renji began, walking towards the man.

Shuuhei immediately held up his hand defensively, as if to hold up a barrier to separate himself from the redhead. "How could you..." he repeated in the same hoarse, heartbreaking voice.

Renji felt a stab of panic. He had never seen Shuuhei like this before; Shuuhei's face was pale, even his lips appeared to have lost its color, and his eyes had a wild look in them.

"Shuuhei, please, let me explain," Renji said, his heart pounding in his chest.

Akari stared at the two men, confused and afraid. Why did Hisagi-fukutaicho react like this? Her pulse raced as she sensed the building tension between the two vice captains. It didn't make sense. The most serious scenario she could think of was that Renji won't be able to surprise Hisagi-fukutaicho with his gift, what's the big deal?

"How could you do this to me!" Shuuhei yelled, pointing at Akari. "Is _she_ really that important to you? You can't even wait for us to resolve our problem before running to her?"

What? Akari blinked in confusion. What has this got to do with her?

Renji glanced at her, and she was surprised to see alarm and fear in his eyes. "This has nothing to do with her," he said. "I asked her to—"

Shuuhei cut him off before he could finish his sentence. "This has _everything_ to do with her!" he cried, his finger stabbing the air in Akari's direction. "Why do you keep defending her? Is she such a good fuck that you have to—"

"Watch your words!" Renji roared. "I asked her to teach me how to mend your clothes, okay? It was supposed to be a surprise! Why do you always have to jump to conclusions like that?"

Still rooted in place, Akari swallowed. What the hell is going on? She was apparently the source of their problem? What's this about her being a good fuck? That totally did not make any sense whatsoever. Unless...unless...somehow Hisagi-fukutaicho figured out that she had a crush on Abarai-fukutaicho? But that still didn't make sense, she hadn't done anything inappropriate with her vice captain. She shrank back in fear from Hisagi-fukutaicho, wishing that she could just disappear.

Instead, she found herself saying in a very small voice, "I was just teaching Abarai-fukutaicho how to sew."

Shuuhei turned to look at her and made a sound that sounded like a mix between a laugh and a sob. "Teaching him how to sew?" he echoed. "Come on, at least make up a story that's more believable."

"That's the truth," Akari said, looking at the man right in the eyes. "He wants to mend your kimono to give you a surprise."

Shuuhei looked back to Renji, who nodded furiously. For a moment it looked as if Shuuhei was going to calm down and accept their words, then he suddenly threw his head back and laughed. It wasn't his usual good-natured, deep laugh. It sounded more like an eerie howl, which trailed off into hoarse chuckles. Renji and Akari stared at him as he bent over and grabbed his knees, his shoulders trembling from laughter.

"Oh, this is precious," he said finally, straightening up and wiping his eyes. "Un-fucking-believable, guys."

"Shuu—" Renji only managed to get a word out before Shuuhei stopped him.

"Don't bother," Shuuhei said, his eyes gleaming with what Akari suspected were tears. "I...I'm sorry I intruded. Do carry on, please." He began to walk backwards, stumbling a little from the uneven ground. "Don't let me stop you," he said with a scary smile on his face.

Renji flash-stepped in front of him and grabbed his collar. "Stop it Shuuhei! We're telling the truth!" he said between gritted teeth. "Snap out of it!"

There was a flash of metal and Renji stared down at the blade of Kazeshini at his throat. "Don't. Touch. Me," Shuuhei growled, pressing the blade against Renji's neck.

Renji looked at him pleadingly. "Shuuhei..." he whispered desperately. When the man did not remove his zanpakutou, Renji had no choice but to let go of his collar. Then he watched helplessly as Shuuhei turned around and walked off, Kazeshini gripped tightly in his hand.

"Hisagi-fukutaicho..." Akari murmured in a shaky voice as she stared at the man's back. Hisagi-fukutaicho had always come off as a calm, mellow man; she could not believe what she had just witnessed. She had heard from people that Hisagi-fukutaicho detested violence, and that he even disliked his own zanpakutou because of its power to bring destruction. Yet, that very same man had just pulled his weapon on his lover.

Akari lost track of how long she continued to stare even though Hisagi-fukutaicho had left. When she finally tore her eyes away, she risked a sideways glance at her vice captain. The redhead was biting his lower lip, so hard that she could see small beads of blood on cracked skin. She suddenly felt sharp stab of fear in her chest; she was very, very afraid.

* * *

"Yo Ikkaku! Come on, you can't stop now!" Renji sang, his words slurred. His eyes were half lidded, a crooked smile plastered on his flushed face. "Come, have another!" he said, shoving a bottle of sake in the bald man's face.

"Dude, how many have you had?" Ikkaku asked with a laugh. But who was he to judge; his face was equally flushed and he spoke with an air of giddiness that was entirely out of character.

The small private room in the izakaya restaurant was thick with the scent of alcohol. Next to Ikkaku, Yumichika was slumped against the wall, half asleep. Across the table, next to Renji, Matsumoto giggled while she examined the empty sake cup in her hand like it was some sort of rare archaeological find.

"One more one more!" Renji yelled, waving his arms drunkenly while attempting to get up to talk to the waitress. He tripped over Matsumoto's leg and crashed into the door frame, attracting the attention of all the other customers in the restaurant. "Sorry! Sorry!" he said with a giggle. Ignoring the dark looks from some of the customers, he stumbled into the main hall in the restaurant and made his way to the bar.

"Renji-san, you've had enough." The head waitress, a middle-aged, motherly-looking woman touched his arm and said in a firm tone.

"But I just got started!" The redhead protested loudly, causing more heads to turn. The waitress bowed to the customers apologetically and turned back to tug at Renji's arm. Just as she was frantically wondering how to handle the tall man who towered over her, a loud voice called out from the entrance of the restaurant.

"There he is!" Rikichi yelled, gesturing to Akari. "I found him!"

The girl burst into the restaurant, and the eyes that had been focused on the red-haired vice captain turned to her. Akari blushed slightly, but walked inside anyway. She reached Renji at the same time as Rikichi, and the waitress gladly handed the man over to them.

"Abarai-fukutaicho!" Rikichi said loudly into Renji's ear, waving his hand in the man's face. The only reaction he got was a hiccup, followed by giggles. Rikichi shot Akari a frightened look.

The girl gave him a determined nod, then they each took one of Renji's arm and heaved him onto their shoulders together. Akari gasped at the sudden weight, then gritted her teeth and straightened up. She _would not_ let her vice captain drink himself to death tonight.

It took her and Rikichi almost half an hour to get their extremely intoxicated vice captain back to his quarters; Akari nearly tripped over a few times, but Rikichi managed to hold on to the large man, giving her enough time to recover. They didn't have the key to Renji's door, so Akari simply kicked the door in—seriously, who would dare to break into a vice captain's room—and together, she and Rikichi somehow managed to drag the man to his bed and hauled him onto the mattress. Rikichi sat down on the floor and wiped his brow while Akari tried to wake their vice captain up by gently slapping his cheeks.

It was useless; the man was out cold by then, no amount of shaking and slapping could make him stir.

"What should we do?" Rikichi asked in dismay. Was it okay to just let Abarai-fukutaicho sleep like this?

"He'll be okay," Akari said, watching the man snore away. "Come, we should go." Rikichi nodded, still looking uncertain. But he let Akari guide him to the door, then, throwing one last worried look at the unmoving figure on the bed, he went into his own room.

Akari looked at Rikichi's door. Once she was certain that the boy had gone in far enough, she stole a quick look down the hallway, then darted back into Renji's quarters. She did her best to put the broken door back into the frame, then made her way slowly to the sleeping man.

Abarai-fukutaicho looked surprisingly young as he slept; his eyelashes rested against his flushed cheeks, his frown gone, and his mouth was slightly open. It hadn't been easy to get the man onto the bed, they had had to tug and push with all their strength. In the process, the man's _shihakusho_ had become slightly undone, exposing much of his chest. Akari couldn't help staring at it as the chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, her eyes lingering on the tattoos. She thought back of the night when she had spied on her vice captain at Rikichi's place and remembered that the tattoos extended all the way down the toned abdomen.

Before she could think of what she was doing, her hand reached out to touch the rumpled cloth barely covering her vice captain's chest. Her fingers trembled as they brushed the edges of the fabric, and her pulse quickened when she felt the warmth of the body beneath the robes. Then, realizing how inappropriate her actions were, she pulled her hand away.

A big, burning hot hand shot out and grabbed her wrist.

Akari yelped in fright and looked up, right into the wide-open eyes of her vice captain. He stared at her silently, his eyes still glazed over from alcohol. She froze, unable to pull her hand away or tear her eyes away from the smoldering gaze.

"Abarai-fukutaicho..." Akari whispered, her heart pounding wildly in her chest. Something about the way he was looking at her made her shiver. She finally managed to find the willpower to move, and tried to tug her hand away from the man's grip, but his hand remained wrapped firmly around her wrist. Her skin reddened from her efforts, and she gave a frightened whimper.

"Why are you afraid?" Renji asked softly.

"I'm not," Akari lied, her voice trembling. "You need to let go, you're hurting me." She pulled her arm again, but instead of pulling away, she was suddenly pulled towards the man. She gave out a surprised yelp and fell forward—straight onto Renji's chest. The strong aroma of sake immediately hit her, and she coughed.

She felt herself being tugged again, this time towards Renji's face. When her eyes fell upon his, she went still. The only sounds in the room were from their quick, loud breaths.

"Abarai-fukutaicho, please..." Akari pleaded.

Ignoring her, Renji pulled her even closer, until her face was directly on top of his. Then, before the girl could struggle, he pulled again. Their lips crushed together, and Renji immediately began to pry her lips apart with his tongue.

"Mmmph!" Akari screamed, but her scream came out muffled. She struggled to break away but was instead thrown onto the bed next to her vice captain. The man rolled over and pinned her onto the mattress.

"Do you love me?" Renji asked, looking into Akari's eyes.

Akari stilled. All she could do was blink. Tears began to pool at the corner of her eyes as she stared into the face of the man above her. It was her vice captain, yet it was not. The images from her dreams rushed into her head and she blushed deeply.

"You're drunk," she said weakly. Her body felt strangely limp under his weight, and her wrists hurt where his hands were holding them to pin her down.

"Shuuhei thinks you love me," Renji said, slurring his words.

Akari turned her head to the side, unable to look at him in the eyes.

"Do you?" he asked again.

She remained still and silent.

Renji chuckled softly. "Well, I guess that's a yes," he whispered. He lowered his head and pressed his forehead against Akari's. "Shuuhei was right," he murmured, more to himself than to Akari. "Shuuhei was right and I didn't believe him...I didn't believe him..." His words gave way to sobs, and his shoulders shook.

Akari winced at the pain from her wrists. Her vice captain's grip had tightened as he became more and more emotional. Then the weight on her forehead lifted and she felt droplets of water on her cheek; some trickled down and got into her mouth. It tasted salty. She turned her head back to look at Renji. His eyes were clenched shut but tears were flowing freely from them, and he bit his lips to muffle his sobs. Her heart broke at the sight.

"Abarai-fukutaicho, it's not too late to tell him that you're sorry," Akari whispered.

Renji laughed through his tears. "He wanted to kill me, don't you remember?" he said softly. "I can still feel Kazeshini against my skin..."

Akari didn't know what to say. What was she supposed to do? Her wrists had begun to go numb.

"He doesn't want me anymore," Renji said hoarsely. "But you do, don't you, Akari? You want me."

Akari froze at those words and her blood went cold. Her instincts screamed at her to run, to fight, but all she could do was stare into the pair of scarlet eyes on top of her.

Then Renji pressed his lips onto Akari's. This time, he sucked gently on her lips, almost lovingly. He tasted strongly of sake, and despite of her dislike of alcohol, Akari felt warmth begin to spread through her limbs. She felt his tongue trace her lower lip, asking for permission to enter, and she shivered. She was vaguely aware of her inner voice yelling at her to stop, but her body caved. Closing her eyes, she parted her lips and allowed herself to melt into her first real kiss.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**Please don't kill me! **

_**Sneak preview of next chapter:  
**He looked around the room in confusion, then looked down at himself. He was clad in his sleeping kimono, but he didn't remember putting them on. Then, it all rushed back to him._


	16. Chapter 16

_**Previously on "A Test of Faith":  
**"He doesn't want me anymore," Renji said hoarsely. "But you do, don't you, Akari? You want me."**  
**_

* * *

**Chapter 16**

* * *

Sunlight filtered in from the window and landed directly on Renji's eyes, whose bright crimson hair was spread out messily around his head. He stirred and turned to his side, instinctively avoiding the sunlight even though he was still half asleep. But the movement inherently woke him, and he gave a soft groan.

Renji buried his face further into his pillow, unwilling to move. His head throbbed as if he had just bashed his head into a brick wall. Staying still did not help soothe his headache, however, so he groaned again and turned onto his back and blinked.

He stared up at the ceiling; he recognized the distinctive pattern on the ceiling, he was in his own room. But how—? He squinted his eyes and shifted his body further away from the irritating sun rays. Last thing he remembered was...his mind drew a blank as his temples continued to pound relentlessly. With a hoarse, tired groan, he propped himself up onto his elbows and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. He looked around the room in confusion, then looked down at himself. He was clad in his sleeping kimono, but he didn't remember putting it on. Then, it all rushed back to him.

_Fuck._

In a panic, he turned around, his eyes frantically sweeping the room. His headache was temporarily forgotten, replaced by dread. His stomach seized up; he clenched his mouth shut and swallowed the bile that rose up from his throat. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck!_

He was alone on the bed; the sheets were in disarray, the corners untucked. His _shihakusho_ from the day before was neatly folded and sat on the bedside drawer, reeking of alcohol. He fell out of bed, literally, landing on the floor in a heap. His hands groped blindly for support from the bed as he struggled to stand up on wobbly legs. His breaths came out in ragged gasps, his mind overtaken by sheer panic.

_Akari. Akari!_

She was nowhere to be found. The room was empty except for him. He looked at the door; it was partially broken and had clearly been forced into the door frame.

_Oh my god what have I done?_

The images in his mind came in bits and pieces, but one stood out clearly: Akari's frightened eyes looking into his own as he pressed down on her, holding her arms up on either side of her head and pinning her beneath him. Had he done it? Did he rape her? He couldn't help sobbing out loud at the possibility. He pulled at the sheets on the bed, searching desperately for any sign of blood, finding none.

But then another image fluttered into his mind. Her soft lips against his, her tongue timidly tracing his lips. Her eyes were closed, her cheeks rosy and glistened with a sheen of sweat. She whimpered as he moved his mouth to her neck, placing wet kisses along the way on her soft, cool skin, down to her collarbone...

Everything was a blank after that. He clasped his hands on the sides of his head and let out a strangled cry as he sank onto the floor against the bed. _What had he done?_

There was only one thing he could do now. He picked himself up from the floor and stumbled into the bathroom to clean up. He had to go see her and find out what kind of damage he had done to her.

* * *

Renji walked down the hallway in the girls' dormitory, getting the occasional odd looks from female members along the way. His fists had been clenched tight all the way from his room, and his heart was beating so loudly that he could hear it pounding in his ears. He hoped and hoped that he had not hurt her. Even if he had indeed forced himself on her, he hoped desperately that he had not caused any injuries. The slightest thought of what he could've done to her made him nauseous. The tiny girl would not have had a chance against him. He dreaded what he would find out, but no matter what had happened, he would take full responsibility of his actions.

When he finally came to her door, he hesitated before raising his hand to knock on the door. Even then, his hand hovered inches away from the wooden door, trembling, and he took in deep breaths to calm himself. Then, he knocked.

He heard muffled footsteps from within, and stepped back. If he had really done what he thought he had, the girl would not want to be in such close proximity with him.

The door opened, and Renji steeled himself for the worst.

"Abarai-fukutaicho?" Akari exclaimed in surprise. She had a faint blush on her face, but otherwise she looked fine. In fact, she showed no sign of being afraid of him, or that anything was out of the ordinary.

Renji stared at her in shock. Had it all been a dream?

"A-Akari, what happened last night?" he asked, looking into her eyes to watch for her reaction.

Akari's eyes widened, then she peeked her head out to look up and down the hallway before gesturing for Renji to step into her room. Renji hesitated, then figured that he couldn't possibly talk to her about this in the hallway anyway. He followed her inside and looked around the room, which was neat and minimally decorated with mostly purple-themed items.

Once they settled down at her table, Renji looked at her and repeated his question.

The girl's face reddened slightly, then, she told him everything.

* * *

_Akari had never felt anything like this before. Her dreams were nothing compared to the real thing. Her vice captain's hot breath on her neck brought goosebumps to her skin, and she shuddered when she felt his wet kisses against her neck. He smelled and tasted strongly of sake; the taste lingered in her mouth long after they broke away from the kiss._

_She moaned softly when she felt something hard brush against her thigh. He panted softly as he licked her collarbone and nibbled her ear lobe. She whimpered at the sensations, her pulse racing wildly. She knew what was happening, and she knew they shouldn't be doing this, but this felt so good, she didn't want it to stop. The man in her dreams was finally in her arms..._

_Renji nuzzled her neck, and for the longest time he stayed there unmoving. Then, Akari felt wetness on her neck that was definitely not from kisses. Warm liquid trickled down to her collarbone. Alarmed, she shifted her head to get a better look at her vice captain. He began to tremble against her body, and she held out her hand to touch his hair. _

"_Shuuhei..." she heard him whisper. _

_Suddenly, she snapped out of it. What was she thinking? She pushed the man and rolled him off her body. His eyes were tightly shut, tears flowing down his cheeks like they did just now. As she slid out from under him, Renji turned to his side and curled up in a fetal position, his shoulders shaking as he hugged himself._

"_Abarai-fukutaicho..." Akari said sadly. He looked so vulnerable like this, so unlike the great, powerful vice captain she had come to know. But in a way, this made him even more endearing. She propped herself up on one elbow and snuggled up against his back, and stroked his hair soothingly to calm him down._

"_I'm sorry..." he murmured in a voice that was barely audible. _

"_It's okay, it's okay," she whispered. Her eyes watered as she felt his back quiver against her body. She knew, then, that the man's heart only belonged to one person._

* * *

Renji stared numbly at the floor, processing what Akari had just told him. Apparently, he had passed out after that, and she had changed his clothes so that he would be more comfortable. Once she was certain that he would be okay by himself, she slipped away and went back to her own room.

So they had not done anything after all. Well, besides kissing, that is. He glanced at the girl and wished he could do something to console her. She had indirectly confessed her feelings for him while she recounted last night's incident, and he felt sad. Sad that he could not return her feelings, and even worse for hurting her by crossing the line. He was thankful that he had somehow managed to stop halfway, otherwise he would've taken advantage of her. He would never forgive himself for that.

"I'm...I'm really sorry," he said, turning to look at her. "I wish I..." He paused. He wished he what? There was nothing he could say or do now to make it up to her.

Akari gave him a small smile. "Don't be," she said gently. "I could've stopped you if I wanted to." She blushed fiercely after saying that, but she kept her gaze steady. Finally, she didn't have to hide it anymore. She knew hers would be unrequited love, but surprisingly, her heart felt lighter now that she'd told him. "I'm really good at _kido_, remember?"

Renji chuckled at her attempt at a joke; she was being brave as usual.

"You should go find him," Akari said.

The redhead sighed, then nodded. "Thank you, Akari," he said, standing up. The girl stood up as well, then, as if they had an unspoken understanding, they closed their distance and hugged. Akari's lips trembled as she held back her tears, knowing that this would be the last time she would feel his body so close to hers. Renji rested his chin on her head and held her as an elder brother would a sister. "Thank you," he whispered.

* * *

Sitting on the roof above Akari's quarters, Shuuhei waited until Renji was completely out of sight before he finally allowed his spiritual pressure to relax and uncurl. They _were_ telling the truth after all.

He had sensed the wild fluctuations in Renji's spiritual pressure last night; he didn't know what the redhead was doing, but whatever it was, it was making the man very emotional. He resisted the urge to go to Renji even though every fiber of his body pushed him to. He stayed awake until Renji's spiritual pressure calmed down somewhat, then finally dozed off when his body could not take the the strain anymore. When he woke up with a start that morning, he immediately sensed the intensity of Renji's spiritual pressure, and this time he caved.

Shuuhei followed Renji, hopping from rooftop to rooftop, keeping his own spiritual pressure reigned in to avoid detection. His heart sank when he realized that they were approaching the 6th division girls' dormitory, but he decided to press on.

Placing Kazeshini at Renji's throat had been the most difficult thing he'd had to do in his entire life, and he still couldn't believe that he'd done it. Anger and hurt make a very dangerous combination, he realized. He had lost it, completely lost control over his emotions. He shivered in fear when he recalled what he'd had in his mind at the time. He had wanted to _hurt_ them. And so he did.

When Renji stepped into Akari's quarters, Shuuhei's chest seized up. He told himself that he didn't care...didn't care if Renji was with the girl. He had severed his ties with the man the minute he threatened him with his zanpakutou. But then, why was he here, crouching on the roof of the girl's quarters like a thief? Shuuhei had no explanation. All he knew was that he could not ignore the terrible vibe in the redhead's spiritual pressure.

And so he heard every word when Akari told Renji what happened last night. Now he didn't know what to do. He'd never felt so stupid or felt such regret in his life. His heart broke when he heard how the redhead had cried for him. And the girl...the girl whom he blamed for coming between him and Renji, ended up being the victim. Yet, she had been the strongest one of them all. When the two vice captains wallowed in their own sorrow and anger, she had quietly supported the man she loved, even though she knew that it meant she would never get the chance to be with him. And what did she get in return? Shuuhei had cursed at her, blamed her for all the problems in their relationship. _He_ was the problem, he realized. It was all his fault. He had pushed Renji away himself. First by always letting Renji down, then by questioning his loyalty, and finally, by using Kazeshini against him.

It's over, Shuuhei thought sadly. Renji would come looking for him but he won't be able to face the man. Even if Renji was willing to forgive him, Shuuhei could never forgive himself.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**Poor Renji :'( I wish I could hug him to cheer him up too. *sniff***

_**Sneak preview of the next chapter:  
**"I understand that you want to punish yourself, but is this really worth it?"_


	17. Chapter 17

**_Previously on "A Test of Faith":_  
**He_ was the problem, he realized. It was all his fault. He had pushed Renji away himself. First by always letting Renji down, then by questioning his loyalty, and finally, by using Kazeshini against him._**  
**

**I can't thank you guys enough for leaving comments! It's such a wonderful feeling waking up in the morning and seeing those email notifications~ *muaks***

* * *

**Chapter 17**

* * *

The pebble bounced off the surface of the water four times before it finally sank. Without taking his eyes off the water, Shuuhei picked up another stone at his feet and threw it at the lake, then watched numbly as it skipped three times before sinking. As the ripples radiated out slowly, Shuuhei sighed.

Renji had been searching for him for three days. He knew, because Kira had repeatedly tried to convince him to see the man. The blonde 3rd division vice captain had even threatened to subdue him with _kido_, but had finally relented when Shuuhei responded simply with an empty stare. After that, Kira had backed off.

Shuuhei chuckled bitterly at the irony; before, he had let the opportunity to spend more time with Renji slip by because of work, and now, he had to take a leave of absence just to avoid the man.

With another sigh, he lay down on the soft grass on his back and looked up at the sky. It was a sunny day, even though it was already autumn. During the day it was reasonably warm, but once the sun began to dip, the temperature would abruptly decrease. Now, the breeze that tickled his skin was just starting to get a little chilly. He closed his eyes, wishing that he could just fall asleep and disappear into unconsciousness so that he could escape the torment on his mind and heart.

He shivered from the memory of Kazeshini gleaming in the sunlight as it pressed against Renji's neck. Just a tiny bit more pressure and it would have cut into the flesh. Shuuhei couldn't believe that he had actually resorted to using the very weapon he detested on the man he loved. What was he thinking? He'd asked himself the same question over and over again for the past few days. The only excuse he had was that he'd let rage consume him, and that was what it was exactly, an excuse. He was a vice captain in Gotei 13, for god's sake. He should have had a better grip on his emotions, but no...he had caved and let his feelings take over.

And over what? His own stupid insecurity, that's what. Every time he thought of that, he tried to rationalize it by reminding himself of Kuchiki Byakuya. It was unnerving to know that one of the most formidable man in Soul Society had feelings for his lover. He'd told himself that he didn't mind, because ultimately Renji had chosen him. And for the longest time he'd actually come to believe that himself, that he was totally fine with it.

He had to laugh at his own foolishness. He could fool his mind but not his heart. He had secretly harbored the fear that he could lose Renji at any time, and that fear finally pushed him over the edge and he'd allowed that fear to consume him completely that day. How unfortunate, and again how ironic, that it was that same fear that now caused him to really lose Renji.

Throughout it all, Renji had done nothing but show that Shuuhei was the only person he cared about. He had not hesitated, even for a fraction of a second, to let his captain know that he could not return his feelings. How many people could show that kind of courage, determination, and unwavering loyalty? Shuuhei felt tears sting his eyes. Why hadn't he seen it? Renji had grumbled to him countless times about not having enough time to spend together, and what had he done? Nothing.

Suddenly, he began laughing; he laughed hoarsely at his own foolishness, at what he had done to himself, what he had done to the one he loved. There was nothing funny about this whole situation, but for some reason he could not control himself. So he laughed, and laughed, until his soft chuckles tapered off into breathy sobs. He curled to his side and wished that he never confessed his feelings to Renji. If he hadn't dragged Renji into this relationship in the first place, the redhead would not be hurt like this.

A warm, soft touch on his arm jolted him, and he turned around. He saw a pair of wide, worried eyes staring at him. He propped himself up on his elbows.

"A-Akari-san..." he sputtered in surprise.

The girl was sitting on her heels, her legs folded neatly beneath her. She pulled her arm back, but Shuuhei felt the warmth of her gentle touch linger on his skin. She was the last person he'd expected to see.

"Hisagi-fukutaicho," Akari said, her voice calm and soothing. "We're all very worried about you."

Shuuhei sat up, not daring to look her in the eyes. He fiddled with the grass at his feet and kept silent.

"Abarai-fukutaicho has been looking all over for you, he's not eating, not sleeping," she continued. "All he wants is to see you." She paused and waited for Shuuhei to respond. Nothing; the man just stared at the ground in silence.

"You know, I didn't come here to search for you, actually," she said with a sigh. "This is where I come to meditate when I feel especially sad about my brother. This place is so beautiful, I can sit here all day just staring at the water, and I would feel so much better after that."

Shuuhei looked up at the sad tone of her voice. He had no idea what her family background was, so he just stared blankly at her, waiting for her to elaborate.

"He died when I was little," Akari said finally. "I miss him everyday. I wish he'd never left...there is so much I want to share with him."

Shuuhei wasn't sure what to say. The girl's eyes and nose were a little red, as if she had just cried. "I'm sorry," he said, feeling foolish; it's not as if saying sorry about her brother would make difference to her now. Then, realizing that he _did_ have his own apology to make, he said again, louder this time, "I'm very sorry."

Akari looked at him with a surprised expression. "About what?" she asked, blinking innocently.

Shuuhei narrowed his eyes in uncertainty. Was she feigning ignorance...? He replied anyway, "I said things about you that I shouldn't have. I'm truly sorry. I...I falsely accused you—"

Akari held out a hand to stop him. "I don't take offense from words uttered in anger, don't worry," she said with a smile, then she looked away. Her cheeks colored slightly as she chose her words carefully. "And...and you were right, I do have feelings for Abarai-fukutaicho."

Shuuhei stilled. He hadn't told anyone—not even Kira—that he'd overheard the conversation they had in Akari's room. For all they knew, he was avoiding Renji because he was angry at the redhead for "cheating", or whatever they'd decided to call it.

He decided that he should just be honest; how much worse could the situation get anyway? "I...uhh, I know," he said.

"I know that you know," Akari replied with a knowing smile.

"Huh?" Shuuhei looked up in surprise.

Akari chuckled softly. "I sensed your presence. You stopped concealing your spiritual pressure after Abarai-fukutaicho left, but I was still in my room, you know. I figured you probably heard everything we said."

"Oh" was all Shuuhei said.

"He only has eyes for you, you know," Akari went on, giving Shuuhei an admonishing look.

"I...I don't deserve him," Shuuhei sighed. "You saw what I did. He shouldn't forgive me...after all I said to him, did to him..."

Akari pursed her lips. "You guys..." she said, feeling a little exasperated. "You guys have some serious communication issues." Shuuhei gave her a confused look. "Abarai-fukutaicho has been looking all over you to beg for _your_ forgiveness, and here you are, thinking that _he_ shouldn't forgive you..."

Shuuhei paused to process her words. She was right; Renji was frantically looking for him so that he could apologize to Shuuhei, thinking that Shuuhei was avoiding him because he was still angry at him for "cheating". Yet the truth was, Shuuhei was avoiding Renji because he couldn't bring himself to face the redhead. They're _both_ blaming themselves.

"I didn't tell him that you were there," Akari said softly. "He doesn't know that you know, and I figured that it is something you should tell him yourself. So...yeah, he's out there, frantic, because he thinks you're still pissed at him."

Under any other circumstances this would be a rather amusing situation, but right now Shuuhei just felt even more depressed.

Akari sighed. "I understand that you want to punish yourself, but is this really worth it?" she asked. "What it all comes down to is that you love each other. By keeping yourself away from him, you're punishing _both_ of you. And it's even worse for him because he doesn't know the true reason for it. He's going to go around for the rest of his life thinking that you left him because you think that he cheated on you! Is that what you want him to remember you by?"

Shuuhei buried his face in his hands. Why did this have to be so complicated? What he wanted was very simple—he just wanted Renji to be happy.

"You know why I'm here today?" Akari asked suddenly.

Shuuhei blinked, surprised by the change of topic. He shook his head.

"Whenever I'm unhappy or sad, or if anything special happened, I always come here and...talk to my brother," she said, blushing a bit. She glanced at Shuuhei, afraid that he would think that she was silly. But he just gave her an encouraging nod. So, she continued, "I would look at the lake and talk to him as if he were here by my side. Well, today I'm here to tell him that...I've found someone who will protect and look after me the way he had, as a brother and as a _senpai_."

"Don't waste your time...talk to Abarai-fukutaicho while you still have the chance. Trust me, it doesn't feel very nice talking to the lake and wishing that your loved one is with you," she added, her lips quivering slightly.

Akari tilted her head up as tears began to spring to her eyes. She didn't want Hisagi-fukutaicho to see her cry. But her tears overflowed anyway and trickled down her cheeks. She sniffled and brought up her _shihakusho_ sleeve to wipe her face. When she looked up again, Shuuhei was next to her, looking at her gratefully and sadly. With a small sob, she turned and buried her face in his chest, and he held her close, resting his chin on her head just as Renji had the other day.

"I'm sorry, Akari," Shuuhei whispered. He now knew what he needed to do. "Thank you."

* * *

**To be continued...**

**Sigh. What would the guys do without Akari. ;) For any new readers, if you're curious about the reference to Byakuya in this story, do check out my other story, "_Pride_". ;)**

**_Sneak preview of the next chapter:  
_**_He ran his fingers across the clumsily-sewn stitches; they were not the prettiest thing to look at, but they were strong and sturdy, just like the pair of hands that had made them._


	18. Chapter 18

_**Previously on "A Test of Faith":  
**"Trust me, it doesn't feel very nice talking to the lake and wishing that your loved one is with you," she added, her lips quivering slightly._**  
**

**I do apologize for the delayed update! I wanted to end this story with a bang (pun totally intended ^.^) so I decided to spend more time on it.**_  
_

**Here it is, the last chapter, with a fresh slice of lemon!**

* * *

**Chapter 18**

* * *

Shuuhei stared at the broken door. What on earth happened to this thing? He listened for any indication that Renji was in his quarters, but couldn't hear anything, so he pushed gingerly on the door. It immediately sagged open, hanging precariously on one remaining hinge. Shuuhei grimaced at the sight, then tried to somehow wrestle the door back into its frame.

Once that was done, he turned around and looked at the familiar room. Except...it wasn't entirely familiar anymore. The bed was a disaster; the covers crumpled and untucked, part of the cloth hung limply off the bed. One chair was overturned and lay on its side, probably the same one that Shuuhei had kicked over the other day.

How long has it really been? Shuuhei mused. It seemed like it has been forever, but it couldn't have been more than a week since the last time he was here. He bent down and picked up the chair. Dirty clothes were strewn around the place, and several used cups sat on the table. Shuuhei sighed, then, he began to tidy up the place.

When he came to the bedside table, he saw a teal-colored piece of clothing on it. Huh, he thought. What was his sleeping kimono doing here? He remember this one, it was one of his favorites. He reached out to touch the smooth silk fabric, smiling sadly as he was reminded of the last time he wore it. Weird, why would Renji place a ripped kimono out here?

Wait a second, he thought. _"I asked her to teach me how to mend your clothes, okay? It was supposed to be a surprise!"_ Renji's words from the other day suddenly rang clearly in his ears. He was serious?

Shuuhei picked up the kimono and unfolded it, then immediately flipped it to the side to examine the seam. There it was; a series of fresh stitches in a different colored thread than the others. He ran his fingers across the clumsily-sewn stitches; they were not the prettiest thing to look at, but they were strong and sturdy, just like the pair of hands that had made them.

He gripped the kimono tightly in his fist and clenched his eyes shut. _Oh, Renji..._

Just then, he heard the door rattle, and with a creak, it swung open. The familiar figure that stepped in stopped dead in his tracks when he realized that the room wasn't empty.

"Shuu...Shuuhei?" Renji croaked, not daring to believe his own eyes.

Shuuhei turned around and faced the redhead, and was immediately taken aback by the terrible state of the man. "Renji!" he gasped in surprise. The man looked so tired; the usually bright eyes were dull and swollen, not to mention the dark shadows below them. His hair was unkempt, and he looked like he hadn't shaved for ages.

Renji stumbled in, still unsure if Shuuhei was real, or was it just his hallucination. More than once in the past week, he had imagined that Shuuhei would be here waiting for him when he returned from work, but he knew it was only wishful thinking. Now that he really was here...

"Is it really you?" Renji asked, blinking furiously.

Shuuhei stepped towards him and held out his arm. "It's me," he said, his voice breaking slightly. "I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry..."

Renji's fingers wrapped tightly over Shuuhei's. Yes, it was real; he felt the warmth of Shuuhei's hand, it wasn't his imagination.

"Wha—?" Renji said in confusion. "I'm the one who's sorry."

Shuuhei looked down at his own feet. "I overheard your conversation with Akari, and...and I know I was wrong," he mumbled. "I know, I spied on you again..."

Renji looked as if he was at a loss of words; Shuuhei braced himself for another outburst—he totally deserved it, of course. Then the redhead's face broke into a smile although he still looked confused. "I've never been so glad to be spied on before," he said shakily. "But...but why? Where have you been all this time?"

"I..." Shuuhei hesitated. He knew he should just admit it; he was a coward, too ashamed to face the consequences of his actions, too afraid to acknowledge his weakness. "I didn't know how to...I thought..." His voice failed him.

Renji didn't need to hear the rest. He pulled Shuuhei into a tight embrace, holding on to the man as if Shuuhei would disappear in a puff of smoke if he let go. "I'm just glad you're back," Renji said, holding back happy sobs. "I'm sorry too. I should've understood your feelings, I should've—" His words became muffled as he buried his face into Shuuhei's neck.

Shuuhei chuckled and pulled away. "No," he said. "We need to sit down and talk, like, _really_ talk. Akari is right, we do have serious communication issues."

Renji blinked, looking even more confused now. The last time Shuuhei mentioned the girl's name, he was cussing at her. And now, it sounded like they were the best of friends. What did I miss in the past few days? Renji thought.

Shuuhei gestured for Renji to sit down, then he stared at the table, unsure how to begin. "We..." he began, then closed his mouth. Why was this so difficult? His mind knew exactly what he wanted Renji to know, but he couldn't put them into words.

"Well, I know what I want to say," Renji said finally, after the silence dragged on for nearly two minutes.

Shuuhei looked up and nodded for him to continue.

"I was selfish," Renji said. "I only thought of myself when you talked about my staying late, and my first reaction was to think that it's unfair when I really should be thinking from your point of view and I didn't even stop to think if what you said was true and then I went ahead and—" He started babbling at that point, his cheeks getting pinker by the second, then he paused, breathing deeply as his emotions crashed over him. "I...just never thought of what it's like to be you."

"Renji..." Shuuhei said softly. "I...I'm even worse. I kept letting you down, and then I...I shouldn't have doubted your loyalty. I cannot say sorry enough for raising Kazeshini on you..." He sighed. "I felt so jealous, and I let that control me. I'm...so, so sorry." A single tear ran down his face despite his heroic effort to keep up a stoic front. He clutched the kimono tighter in his fist, unable to let go of what he'd done when he walked into Renji's attempt to learn how to mend this kimono.

A thumb touched his face to wipe away the tear, then he felt himself being pulled into a hug. He rested his head against Renji's chest, and for a while they stayed like this, just quietly taking comfort in each other's closeness and warmth.

"Will you forgive me?" They both said at the same time.

Renji chuckled and held Shuuhei closer. "There's nothing to forgive," he whispered, and felt Shuuhei's shoulders sag in relief. The silk kimono slipped out of Shuuhei's slackened fingers and draped across Renji's feet. The redhead let go of Shuuhei and bent down to pick it up.

"Heh," Renji said sheepishly. "I was actually hoping I could redo this before giving it to you. It's really quite ugly..."

Shuuhei grinned. "No, it's perfect," he said. "Just don't let Ishida-kun see it."

Renji held up the kimono and stroked the fabric lovingly. "I still remember the last time you wore this..."

Shuuhei leaned forward and purred, "Would you like to see it again?"

The deep, sensual voice of his partner sent Renji's pulse racing, and he nodded silently. He swallowed as Shuuhei stood up and began to untie his white _obi_. As the knot became undone, Shuuhei's deft fingers travelled to his _kosode_, shrugging them off his shoulders along with the white _shitagi _underneath. Renji hungrily feasted his eyes on the perfect, tan skin that gradually became exposed as the robes slid off Shuuhei's body. Shuuhei moved slowly, almost teasingly, keeping his eyes locked on Renji's the entire time. His mouth curled up in a smirk when he noticed the flush on Renji's face; the redhead probably didn't even realize that he was beginning to pant lightly.

"Do you want to help me?" Shuuhei asked huskily as his hands went to his _hakama-himo_. When Renji reached out to touch him, Shuuhei gestured to the bed. The redhead understood immediately. With one hand gently tugging on Shuuhei's hakama straps, Renji walked backwards slowly, guiding Shuuhei to the bed. Once they were there, Renji sat down on the bed, still holding the straps loosely.

Shuuhei stood in front of him and nodded. Fingers trembling slightly, Renji gingerly untied the straps. Finally, the last piece of clothing on Shuuhei's body fell to the floor. Renji leaned back and ran his eyes over his lover's naked body, taking deep breaths to calm himself. How he'd missed this...Shuuhei's lean, sculpted torso, his smooth hips, his hardened manhood... Renji felt his lust awaken as he took in the glorious sight. How could Shuuhei feel inferior when he was so perfect? Renji decided then, that he would show the man how unnecessary his fears were, over and over again, until Shuuhei no longer doubted himself.

Suddenly realizing that he'd been staring dumbly at Shuuhei for a long time, Renji grinned a little sheepishly at the man, who was looking at him with a hint of amusement. Holding the kimono by the sleeves, Renji nudged Shuuhei so that he turned around. Then, Renji stood up and gently put it on Shuuhei. When the soft fabric landed on Shuuhei's skin, he closed his eyes and let out a contented sigh.

"So, shall we work on our communication skills?" Renji whispered, pulling Shuuhei into his arms. "How about let's start with...how do you want me to take you tonight?"

Shuuhei let out a soft moan at the redhead's words; so crude, yet so erotic when it came from Renji. "I want you on top of me," he whispered back a little shyly, his voice thick with desire. It felt like it had been forever since Renji touched him, and he longed for those skilled fingers and the feel of Renji's kisses on his skin.

Turning Shuuhei around, Renji lowered his head to claim Shuuhei's lips. "Help me," he murmured into the kiss, guiding Shuuhei's hand to the knot of his _obi_.

It didn't take long for the Renji to shed his clothes. Shuuhei allowed himself to be pushed gently onto his back, savoring the warmth from Renji's hands on his body.

As if he was marking his territory, Renji let his fingers roam all over the body beneath him. He ran his palm up and down Shuuhei's inner thigh, but never touching the aching organ between his legs. When Shuuhei squirmed in protest, Renji gave him a wicked smile. "What do you want me to do?"

"T-touch me," Shuuhei whispered, looking at Renji pleadingly behind half-closed lids. "Touch me...there."

"Here?" Renji moved his hand up Shuuhei's inner thigh, but stopped right at the very edge of his crotch.

Shuuhei groaned. "Up, a little more."

"Mmm...like this?" Renji's fingers brushed against Shuuhei's sack but they didn't linger.

"No..." Shuuhei moaned, beginning to realize what Renji had in mind. "Why do you always torture me?"

"Oh? I'm not torturing you," Renji said, feigning innocence. "I just want you to tell me _exactly_ what you want," he continued with a smirk.

"You little..." Shuuhei cursed. "H-hold me."

"Like this?" Renji stroked Shuuhei's rock-hard erection, feeling it twitch a little under his touch.

"Harder," Shuuhei pleaded. He hissed in pleasure when Renji's hand bore down and gripped him tightly. "Yes," he whispered. "Like that."

As Renji leaned down for another kiss, he murmured, "Do you want me to go slow, or go fast?"

"Whatever you want," Shuuhei said with small groan.

"Mmm...then it's going to be a long night," Renji grinned, then he brought their lips together and Shuuhei immediately forgot all about communication.

* * *

"More, Renji, more..." Shuuhei's voice trembled as he gripped Renji's hips. The bed frame creaked as his body rocked in time with Renji's thrusts, but it wasn't enough. "Harder..."

Renji grunted in response and snapped his hips forward for an extra-deep thrust into the man beneath him. He couldn't stop the moan that came tumbling out when he felt himself completely engulfed in that familiar, velvety heat. The ends of his hair tickled Shuuhei's face but Shuuhei was oblivious to it. All he knew then was the intense pleasure between his legs—both from being filled by his lover and from the friction on his arousal, and the pair of scarlet eyes that were staring into his. There was something raw about the way Renji held his gaze as he thrust into him; it made him even more aroused than ever, and his erection throbbed in response.

"Am I close?" Renji asked between pants, searching for Shuuhei's special spot with each thrust. He loved the way Shuuhei's eyes would roll back into his head when he hits the spot, but he had yet to see it today.

"A little lower," Shuuhei whispered hoarsely. "More, lower. Ohhh, up a little..." As Renji adjusted his angle, Shuuhei suddenly gasped out loud and arched his back. "Ohhh…god! There!"

Chuckling softly, Renji noted the angle. Soon, Shuuhei was a babbling mess beneath him, varying from muttering curses to yelling out Renji's name. Each sound he made went straight to Renji's groin and the redhead could feel himself approaching the edge.

"R-renji, I'm...going to..." Shuuhei stammered, right on cue. "G-going to..." His words trailed off into a long, breathy moan as he came, the wave of pleasure causing him to throw his head back and curl his toes.

Following closely behind, Renji buried himself to the hilt with a final thrust and let go, releasing all the built-up tension from the entire night. He let out a small sob and buried his face in Shuuhei's neck. And there they remained, unmoving, until their heartbeats finally slowed down.

"Wow," Shuuhei said, laughing softly as he raked his fingers through soft crimson hair. "I think our communication improved already."

* * *

In the 6th division courtyard, Akari looked up in the sky as she felt the spiritual pressure both vice captains. They're happy, she thought, feeling a little wistful, yet at the same time happy for them.

"Akari!" A voice called out to her from the hallway. "Dinner? Kazu-san and the others are already waiting there."

Akari turned around to see Rikichi waving at her. "Sure," she said with a smile. "Dinner sounds good." Watching Rikichi's face light up, her heart warmed. No, she was not alone.

* * *

**END**

**I want to thank you all again for following the story, and I hope you guys like the ending! I had a really fun time writing this, especially with the comments and encouragement from you all! **

**In case you're wondering...yep, I do have a story planned with that kimono in mind! ;) **

**Sayonara for now~**


End file.
